I have a dynamic of getting attached and depending on men.
I read something about it and some women look for the love of their dads in their boyfriends. But not only love. They want their man to spend a lot of time with them just so they feel they're being taken care of. And they also want men to put them in their place, just like a dad would do when a daughter is not being obedient. They basically look for the affection, attention, and discipline that their dads didn't give them in their next man. I found that messed up.
At the same time, I think it fits my dynamic. I become too dependable. Which is toxic.
I have to stop looking for a dad and figure my issues out... My boyfriend isn't gonna put me in my place... He won't plan my life out for me... I gotta do that on my own. I can't let the next man take care of me like I'm a girl. My ex used to say "I'm dating a girl". He said he was joking, but he was right. I have to take care of myself, I can't leave that up to me boyfriend. He has a life too. I have to put myself in place.
That doesn't mean I'm gonna become an Alfa female. I'm still gonna let my man love me, and help me if I need anything. But I'm not gonna let him become something he's not. So I can't act like a girl anymore. I won't do that to myself... I'm an adult.
