When you don't do what Jehovah created you to do, it causes so much damage to yourself and others.
That's what my dad caused.
He caused me identity, emotional, mental and psychological trauma.
And he caused my sister emotional and mental trauma and issues. A literal mental illness.
That's why she thinks she needs a man. She didn't need a man, she needed a dad. She doesn't believe it I and neither did I, for more than 20 years of my life. But now I see the damage he did.
I hate that it still affects us, because we didn't deserve that insecurity. Thanks to him we're both afraid of commitment. Thanks to him we have a hard time accepting ourselves. And we doubt ourselves. But it's not our fault because we are good girls. Or good women I should say.
One time he told me my older brother was better off not knowing him. And it hit me. It hit me that I would've been better off not knowing him either. Because I know him now, and he didn't want us. He didn't love me. I would be better off not knowing him because that way I would never have the hurt that I've had my whole life.
