I had a deep talk with my girl bestie A about how things unfolded with girl B, who I thought was my best friend at the time. I used to put A second... when she was the one who treated me better and was more spiritual. I learned that imperfection and immaturity are what makes us choose people who aren't right for us. Because some part of us thinks that once they see our effort that they're gonna reciprocate it and be better because of it. But not everyone thinks like me or has the same motives as me. I learned so much from B.
It broke my heart when our friendship ended. To this day I still care about her. And I'm worried that she may get her heart broken or break the guy's heart... but that is her decision.
I had regret when I started talking more with A after things ended with B. And I told her that. She said she understood it. But still. Imagine the heartache I would've avoided if I had just spent more time with A instead of B. But it's not just about me... A deserved more from me.
B caused me trust issues.
Ever since her I don't trust women my age. For real. I don't have friends my age other than A.
I told a 30 year old friend about it and she said, "It's gonna take you a while to build trust again, for sure. But don't worry. Building trust takes time... and your friends have to gain your trust, just as much you have to gain their trust. Now you have learned from the experience and you can be more discerning of who deserves it and who doesn't."
