We dated stupid and immature people because we were also stupid and immature but in other ways.
A pill hard to swallow but not at the same time.
I didn't know we had traits in common until we started talking about our previous relationships. Traits such as being too nice or wanting to save people. The intention isn't bad but we got to draw the line.
Ever since my experience with my ex, I started drawing the line. I did, with a girl I was becoming friends with. She wasn't doing well and she seemed like she needed a friend. I noticed the signs early and I didn't keep the friendship going because I knew I was gonna try and help her more. And months later she got disfellowshipped...
So after her announcement I thought, "wow, I avoided danger for the first time. I didn't get myself in trouble this time because I paid attention to my own tendencies..."
I also thought of how detrimental it is to help someone sometimes. If someone's not doing well they can easily drown you and your help won't be worth anything. People can only grow up or get help when they decide to.
I used to believe that being in a relationship meant someone would help me become better, and that I would help someone the same way, but I was wrong. Being in a good relationship means you work on yourself first and then date, so that the person you choose won't have to become the fixer in the relationship, and then both of you will be equally invested in each other.
