Bucky Barnes Imagines Vol. 1 (BB X Reader)

Scars Pt. 4*

TW: This chapter contains mentions of self-harm. If you do not wish to read this chapter, please feel free to skip.

The ride back to the compound was uncomfortably silent. Bucky's whispered confession was sitting heavy in your mind. The halls were quiet as he walked you to your room. His confession left you shell shocked and more than a little confused. You managed to hide it as best you could in order to not ruin the rest of the night, however, on the car ride back you couldn't stop your mind from racing.

You knew that you had feelings developing for Bucky, something more than just a close friendship. You were able to bury them, ignore them, and tell yourself that what you felt was stemming from how kind he had been to you since you arrived. They weren't real feelings based on any kind of normal bond people have when they fall in love, but you were lying to yourself.

Bucky had indeed been kind to you since you arrived, but it was more than that. He tried to understand you and adapt to your needs. If you were having a bad mental health day, he'd try his best to make you smile. If you'd had a nightmare while you slept and just needed someone to vent to, he'd listen without comment. When you conquered a fear or achieved one of your goals with Raynor, he'd celebrate with you and make sure you knew just how proud he was. No, the things you felt for him weren't something to be brushed aside. They were something you needed to embrace and be honest with yourself about.

You loved Bucky just as much as he loved you.

It would be hard. You'd made so much progress since you left Dylan, but there were still times when you had setbacks. Everything was fine with Bucky for now, but there was no doubt that starting a relationship with him would bring those old insecurities and fears back to the surface. With any other man, you wouldn't even bother pursuing your feelings, but this was Bucky. You knew him as well as he knew you and he wouldn't be scared off so easily. Tonight was the night you would finally show him all of your scars.

Your hands wrung together as you stood outside the door of your room. The two of you awkwardly lingered in the bright hallway, not sure what to say. Bucky rubbed at the back of his neck and rocked onto the balls of his feet. You smiled nervously at him and then you both averted your eyes to look down the hall. After a moment, you looked back at each other, lips parted to speak.

"I—" You both began.

A nervous titter bubbled out of both of you and a bright pink blush rose to your cheeks.

"Y/n, I'm sorry about what I said." Bucky said softly. "It just felt right in the heat of the moment."

"O-oh." You said surprised.

You felt your heart break. Of course he didn't love you. Maybe he had feelings for you, but apparently they were on the spectrum of love.

"I-I understand. We all say things we don't mean sometimes." You whispered.

Bucky chuckled and shook his head.

"I meant what I said, doll. I'm just sorry that I freaked you out by saying it. I should've taken it slower. I mean, I know you probably aren't ready for anything. I just couldn't hold back how crazy about you I am any longer."

Your lips parted on a silent gasp and all the words you wanted to say vanished. Bucky stood waiting. Waiting for you to speak. Waiting for you to reject him. Waiting for you to react in some way, but all you could do was blankly stare at him.

"Well, um, have a goodnight, doll. If you ever want to," he cleared his throat, "if you ever want to do this again, you know where to find me."

Bucky leaned down and kissed your cheek, then began to turn away from you.