Bucky Barnes Imagines Vol. 1 (BB X Reader)

Diary

"No, no, no! Where is it?" You flipped your mattress up and found the space empty.

You moved through your room, pulling out drawers, chucking everything out of your closet, and even moving the furniture around. You stood in the middle of your room, hands dug into your hair, panicked that you couldn't find the little book that held your most private thoughts.

"Where the fuck is it?" You whisper yelled.

That book was your lifeline. It was where you wrote your darkest thoughts and secrets that you would never say out loud. If someone found it and it got out to the team, you'd be too embarrassed to ever look at them again...especially Bucky. The pages of that little book told a story of how your feelings had grown for him since you first met him. You were perfectly fine with taking that secret to your grave.

You sat down on your bed and cradled your head in your hands trying to think of where your diary was. Your head popped up as you remembered that you took it to the rooftop with you early in the morning when you couldn't sleep. You raced out of your room and up the stairs to the roof, hoping it was still there. No one else really accessed the roof, so you were sure it would still be there.

Bursting through the door to the roof, you ran over to the spot you occupied that morning and began looking around. It wasn't there. It wasn't fucking there. Someone had found it, but the question was who. You were on the verge of a full on meltdown. Tony had cameras on the roof, maybe FRIDAY had video of who had found it.

You walked back to your room and had FRIDAY bring up all the footage from the roof since you had left. Luckily, one of the cameras was pointed right at the spot where you were. Horror bloomed in your chest as you saw Bucky walking onto the roof half an hour after you had left. He walked to the edge and looked over the railing for a while before turning back to the door. His attention caught on your diary and he walked over, picked it up, and opened it.

Your face paled and your heart raced as you watched him take a seat and begin flipping through the pages.

"Oh, fuck." You muttered.

This was it. You would never be able to face him again. He was a nice guy, so you weren't afraid of him being an asshole about it. Somehow pity seemed worse, though. At least if he was an asshole it would give you a reason to hate him.

"Cut it off, FRIDAY."

You threw yourself back on your bed and laid your arm over your face. Tears leaked from your eyes as humiliation set in. Your diary was where you poured your heart out and fought through every dark and demeaning thought that forced its way into your head. It was where you found comfort in admitting that you loved a man that barely even knew you existed. You had training with Bucky in an hour, but you couldn't face him. You cried until you fell asleep, huddled into a ball in the middle of your bed.

~

"Holy shit! Y/n, are you okay?"

You were shaken awake and flipped over onto your back. On instinct, you popped your hand out connecting with the person's nose.

"Fuck!"

You jolted up in bed and came face to face with Bucky. He was sitting on your bed, holding his nose. Your eyes went wide when you realized what you had done.

"I'm so sorry! It was instinct."

"Don't worry about it, doll. I shouldn't have woken you up like that. I just saw your room all torn apart and you huddled on your bed and I was worried." He said sheepishly.

"Oh, um, I'm fine." Your thoughts went racing back to your diary and you felt yourself shrinking underneath Bucky's gaze. You drew your knees up and wrapped your arms around your legs as if you were trying to shield yourself. "Did you need something?"

His steel blue eyes stared at you as he tried to find the right words to say.

"Yeah. Well, I wanted to see why you missed training, but also I–I needed to talk to you about this." He held up the black, leather bound book he found on the roof.

You swallowed hard, but waited to see what he had to say.

"Y/n, the things you wrote in here..." He trailed off. Before he could say another word, you cut him off.

"They're just words. Doesn't mean anything. Just forget whatever you saw in there."

"I can't just forget, doll. You wrote about wanting to hurt yourself, I can't ignore that."

"I write it in the diary instead of actually doing it, though. It's my form of therapy. If I get it out, then it's not all cramped up in my head waiting to explode."

"You could've come to me, Y/n. Out of everyone here, I would understand how you're feeling the most."

"I wasn't going to bother you with my issues, Bucky. You have enough of your own, you don't need mine too."

You looked down at your legs, but Bucky gripped your face in his hands and forced you to look at him. His face was so close that you could feel his breath fanning across your lips. His long hair draped down the sides of his face, consuming him in shadows.

"I care about you, Y/n. Don't ever be afraid to come talk to me."

"Did you tell anyone?" You whispered.

He shook his head and you breathed a sigh of relief. Bucky brushed his thumbs along your cheeks. Your eyes were glued to his and you couldn't pull away. It was like he had his own gravitational pull and you were stuck in his orbit.

"Bucky, how much of my diary did you read?"

"All of it." His voice was a hoarse whisper. His eyes flicked down to your lips and his breath fanned over your lips, sending sparks through your body. "Doll, I–"

You jumped away from Bucky as the door of your room slammed open and Sam came walking in.

"Thought I'd find you in here." He looked at Bucky, then noticed the state of your room. "What the hell happened here?"

"Uh, I lost something and I may have gotten a little frantic with my search." You tell Sam.

"Uh-huh." Sam raised his eyebrows and looked around the room. "Anyway, we gotta go Buck. The jet is waiting and I wanna get this mission over with. You can flirt with Y/n later."

Your eyes went wide and Bucky's face turned red as he rubbed the back of his neck and avoided looking at you.

"Ah, don't deny it, Bucky. I know you got a thing for her." Sam grinned widely at you both then walked out of the room, yelling down the hall. "I'll meet you out there. Give her a kiss for me!"

"I gotta go, doll." Bucky leaned forward and grabbed your face in his hands again.

There was no hesitation this time as he lowered his lips to yours and kissed you sweetly. He pulled away with a smile on his face and rested his forehead against yours.

"Love you too, Y/n." He whispered. "We can talk more about this during the date I'm going to take you on when I get back."

Bucky rose from the bed and walked towards your door. He turned back and gave you an adorable lopsided smile.

"See ya later, doll."

You stared at the door dumbfounded as you let everything sink in. You had so many questions, but they'd have to wait until Bucky returned. Your fingers brushed your lips and the corners of your mouth raised in a slight smile. Reaching over on the bed, your fingers grasped the cool leather of your diary and you flipped to an empty page and began writing. 

A/N: There was a part 2 of this story requested, so I will post that as soon as I'm able. :)