"Here's what's gonna happen" he said to her, giving her a pointed look and either tapping or rubbing the toy on her. "I'm gonna edge you... and I'm gonna watch. But there are 2 rules."
"Rules?" she quizzically stared a him.
"Yeah" he answered.
He t...
The conversation they were having had come to a standstill. Eli didn't know where to go from there and Jessica was saying nothing else either. It wasn't an awkward silence but it was eerily loud, to say the least. It was clear that she didn't want to talk anymore and he wasn't sure whether he had said something bad or if she was embarrassed.
Little did Eli know, though, the worst thing Jessica could ever say was yet to come. And when she spit it out, he felt like he had literally been smacked on his face.
Word of the chapter: vulnerability.
Nonetheless, he gathered enough courage to go there, to the topic he knew she'd been avoiding.
"Jess" he quietly called her.
"Hm?" she hummed.
"Why don't you wanna date me?" he asked. And again, he was met with silence. So he continued. "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing. And, if there was, I'm sure it would be an easy fix. Unlike... you know... me. We can't fix me" she answered, scoffing.
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Huh?
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, confused.
"Potentially, everything... externally, that is" she chuckled.
By now, Eli was starting to seriously hate hearing Jessica say stuff like that. Had someone other than Hannah told her this before? Had she been made to feel like she was less than anybody else, looks-wise, before she even started college? Because why was it that, every time Eli complimented her, she'd reject it the second she heard it? Or why would she constantly downgrade herself? What was the story behind that? He wanted to know.
And he wanted to make it stop.
"Why do you keep saying stuff like that? There's nothing wrong with you" he said.
"Because... it's true" she shrugged.
He heard her sigh and he knew it meant she wasn't interested in the conversation anymore but he wanted to find out. What was her issue with herself?
"No, it ain't. Do you not look in the mirror?" his tone was much louder now.
"Every time I do look, I see nothing but confirmation of what people say to me... or about me... what else am I supposed to believe?" she asked.
And the fact that she sounded so innocently clueless was disgusting.
"It's not true, Jess" he sighed.
"Then, why do they-" she started but Eli cut her off. He did it as calmly as he could, didn't move or look at her, he just mumbled against her tummy.
"You're beautiful... really, really gorgeous. And, definitely, mytype..." he stated.
"That's not...." she trailed off, unable to complete her sentence. A few seconds later, she took a deep breath in and sighed before continuing. "If me and you did end up together, or if I ended up with anybody, what would people say about us? They already antagonise me on a daily, I can't deal with my boyfriend being bullied because of me too. I can't do that."
