On His Roster (Aviación #1) Completed

80

Broken

Ayaw ko siyang makausap ngayon kasi pakiramdam ko mas lalo lang sasama ang pakiramdam ko. Wala pa akong pahinga at ang dami nang nangyayari sa buhay ko.

Pumayag naman siya at tinanggap ang sinabi kong mag uusap kami kung kailan kaya kong makinig sa paliwanag niya. Hindi ito ang araw na iyon lalo na at di ko malunok at nandidiri ako tuwing naiisip ang katkasilan niya.

Kakausapin ko naman talaga siya siguro sa susunod na araw o linggo. Basta malalaman niya naman iyon at hindi naman ako tatakas dahil magkikita rin naman kami sa trabaho.

Ayaw niya akong paalisin na mag isa kaya pinapunta niya si Yoni para masamahan ako pauwi sa accomodation.

Isang linggo pa ako naglumpasay bago ko nahanal ang routine kung paano hindi madadamay ang aking trabaho dahil sa personal na mga problema.

At nalaman ko pa na nagkasuntukan pa sa airport dahil biglang inatake ni Angelo si Deuce. Sabi naman ni Yoni ag nalaman daw ni Angelo ang kung anong nangyari sa akin kaya nagalit ng sobra.

I would be quite concerned about Deuce's reputation at work if I were the same person again, especially in light of the brawl that occurred between him and Angelo and Barry. But now i don't really care about other people anymore because I'm so consumed and angry with my own sorrow.

Namuhay ako ng tahimik at hindi na gumawa ng kung anong issue at ingay lalo na sa trabaho. Napagod at nagsawa na sa daming iniisip mas pinili ko nalang na umuwi tapos matulog.

I continue to sleep in my bed while time passes and people go on. It's as if it never occurred while I'm here, thinking and being foolish, you know? It's not worth it, difficult to explain. It's not worth losing my sanity like this.

I don't want to put myself in danger so that I can experience the same horror I did when he deceived me. The thought that even though everyone who has gone may feel like they have died, there will always be a resurrection when I see other people again is what keeps me up at night. Losing people and meeting new ones.

Ang hirap makulong sa ganitong kalungkutan na para bang hirap lumabas, ang hirap kumawala. Ang hirap gumawa ng desisyon kahit na alam kong isang desisyon lang ang makakatulong sa akin para makapag patuloy na ako sa buhay ko.

Umiiwas na rin ako sa grupo kahit kay Dinara na kasama ko lang sa apartment. Hindi naman nangungulit tungkol kay Deuce pero mas nakakabuti na lumayo muna at mapag isa.

Hindi ko kailangan ng lalake at di rin ako matutulungan ng alak. Natutulog nga lang ako kasi kailangan ko sa trabaho. Sa kwarto lang ako nagkukulong at lumalabas lang kapag pupunta sa airport.

Being a mistress is such a horrible and frustrating situation to be in. You stop it; you don't try to stop it. That's what I'm telling myself right now. Stopping this mistake is necessary so that I don't commit further sins or reckless actions. 

Women ought to set the example for men by telling them what they are worth. Although it's extremely difficult, I believe that my value comes from being someone's first choice rather than their backup or second.

Don't give in because he says, "when they break up," because women don't deserve to wait until the position is open, and his defenses only imply that he will keep me on the back burner.

The fact that a man will not end their relationship in order to be with her signifies that the woman has officially turned into the backup.
When the man's wife ends their relationship, he chooses to be with her since he is now by himself, which implies he settled with the backup.

Man full of shit about the situation, keeping lady as a backup plan and using it as an excuse not to commit to her in case someone better comes along.

Naiisip ko ang mga nasaksihan ko noong bata pa ako. Matagal na tinago ng tatay ko ang kaniyang pagtataksil nagawa niya nga na magmahal ng dalawang babae ng sabay sa loob ng ilang taon.