On His Roster (Aviación #1) Completed

81

Fallen

Ilang ulit niyang sinubukan na makausap ako pero hindi pa rin siya napagod kakasunod at kakahabol sa akin kahit sa trabaho. Desidido akong itigil na ang kalokohan at wag nnag mandamay pa ng iba.

Kahit anong gawin ko hindi magbabago na magkakaroon na siya ng anak. Hindi ko kailanman na gagawin na manira ng buhay ng isang inosenteng bata.

Sunod sunod ang trabaho ngayon kaya kaonti lang talaga ang pahinga. Trabaho at tulog lang gawa ko buong linggo. Hindi naman na masama ang aking pakiramdam pero hindi pa rin maiiwasan na mahilo lalo na at kulang sa tulog.

We have nowhere to go now, its already the dead end. Hindi ako magsesettle sa kaonting parte lang ng pagmamahal. Bibigyan lang ng tira at kaonting bahagi ng pagkatao.

Sigurado na ako sa desisyon na tapusin na nga ang lahat habang maaga pa. Mag uusap kami siguro kapag may bakanteng araw na walang trabaho.

Marami na ring nagrereklamo at tumitigil sa trabaho dahil sa sobrang pagod at hindi makataong schedule. Ilang oras kang magtatrabaho tapos hindi sakto ang pasweldo, uuwi ka gabing gabi na o kaya naman umaga na at nadatnan ka na ng araw na para kang isang bampira.

Uuwi kang masyadong late tapos gigising ka pa ng sobrang aga para sa panibagong flight. Halos lutang ka na sa trabaho at naka autopilot nalang para maka survive.

Katawan talaga ang susuko kaya kawawa ka talaga dahil ikaw naman ang maghihirap sa huli kasi hindi na maganda ang pakiramdam mo. Yung katawan mo na ang aayaw.

Maraming umaalis na mga empleyado kaya naman panay din ang company na maghanap ng pamalit. Dito kung hindi talaga malalim ang dahilan mo hindi ka talaga tatagal sa trabaho.

Lahat babagsak sayo katawan, utak at maging ang iyong emosyon damag na rin. Hindi healthy kaya aabot din sa puntong drained ka na at ang init na ng ulo mo.

I can practically hear the birds singing in my ears, the wind whispering to me and giving me a hug, and the clouds moving so gracefully in the sky as I stare blankly at at the mountain and sky view from here. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, aligning myself with nature and the breathtaking scenery.

The universe is too vast for me to end my life over my own issues. I must always remember that I am just a dot in the vast scheme of things, and that I have much more work to do in discovering who I am.

Once I view the scene from a distance and take in the entire picture, everything will appear more sensible. I should see things as it's entirety and not just in one zoomed in detail.

Just like my view from up here.

Everything was in perfect alignment: the huge, intimidating mountains, the impossibly high heavens, the beautiful winds, and the birds, gifted with an unmatched sense of beauty.

Trees that appear lifeless once a year and wonderfully vibrant the next have a purpose: to give life to others. Trees are created to benefit everyone and never require permission from others in order to grow and prosper. 

Whether or not they are able to bear fruit, they just keep growing. Plants thrive regardless of whether humans find them attractive or not, or if they are accepted in the immediate area or not. Born to continue to grow not for others but for themselves.

People should remember that too, this should be our core, to continue growing no matter what other people will say or if they'll accept it or not.

Continue growing and don't let anything, not even the weather, corrupt your thoughts or prevent you from realizing your full potential.

All I could hear then was the sound of the bungee jumping metal rope and body belt dropping, causing me to fall together with the weight of the metal gear attaching my body strap. As I continued to descend from the sky, the winds became louder and more distinct.