On His Roster (Aviación #1) Completed

68

Truths

It makes me feel ashamed to know that he spent three million on me. I prefer to provide for myself and don't want any assistance, even if I am aware that getting such an amount of money is difficult. I don't want him to pay for me or send me money; presents are acceptable, but this?

Producing millions of payments? Deuce and I are just boyfriend and girlfriend; he has no obligations and is not required to solve my problems or make my life better.

I've survived on my own for the past 25 years, so I don't need Deuce to come along and rescue me right now. I may not have millions of dollars, but I'll make that money for myself, no matter how long it takes.

I fear losing relationships—regardless of the financial gain or personal gain—and I am afraid of owing him money. Since the people I trust with my life have abandoned me throughout my life, I don't want to be dependant again.

Ayokong darating ang araw na may maririnig akong mga salita tulad ng mga binitawan ng aking pamilya. Ayokong marinig iyon ulit lalo na kay Deuce.

I don't want to engage with people who might one day  not agree with me or situation might turn into a problem. I worry about repercussions, particularly when the people involved is someone so dear in my heart.

Pakiramdam ko mas lalong gumugulo ang buhay ko dahil sa usapang pera at ayokong mangyari ito sa amin ni Deuce. When it comes to money anything can happen. Minds turns to evil, loved ones become insecure.

Wala akong mukhang ihaharap kay Deuce kung pati siya ay nadamay na. We will never feel secure. Our relationship will never be secure. Ako ang taong gustong umangat dahil sa sariling pagsisikap, ayaw kong umasa sa kung sino man lalo na ngayon na kaya ko nang tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa.

Gusto ko labas ang relasyon naming dalawa sa problema ko sa pinas. Kaya nga ako umalis at di na bumalik sa bansa kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng panibagong buhay, malayo sa gulo at pasakit.

I don't want to owe someone just to survive. But of course, I know he just wants to help me and be there for me as my boyfriend. How can I even say that I didn't like it and that I was uncomfortable without sounding ungrateful? I saw him busy preparing our uniforms; he made sure that they looked sleek and neat. That shows me that he is aware of what I'm doing and my needs, and that he cares enough to help me out.

Umupo ako sa kama at pinanood siyang abala sa paghahanda ng aming uniform. Magiging abala na naman kami sa trabaho kaya naka ayon pa rin ang araw namin sa routine.

"You should have told me about it, Deuce. You know that I don't have a great connection with my family, and I hate to give them the satisfaction that they won and that they got what they wanted. So why didn't you tell me? When did you send the money?"

"While I'm in Italy, I send them three million, because I want them to stop hurting you, Av. When they continue to exert that control on you, how can you be truly free? You're wearing a leash from them? I don't want to see you starving yourself to send them your paycheck, nor do I want to see you worrying about money, that is very inhumane."

"And so you gave them what they wanted!"

"Giving them that money is not letting them win. I gave them the money because I want you to have your peace. I want you to live your life now with me, not thinking about them. Peace of mind can't be bought, but at least I am trying to lighten the situation."

"I hate you spending your money on me," umiling ako at hindi matanggap na pinaglalaban niya ang sariling desisyon. "That's a lot of money—"