Art of being a Player...

Never Cried like this before

"Where's Cian?" I asked Nate.

Nandito kami ngayon lahat sa private pool sa Villa nila Cian. Pagkatapos ng pag uusap namin ni Travis ay bumalik ako sa hotel, sabay sabay kaming naglunch. Nagtataka sila dahil hindi kami nagpapansinan ni Cian, kala panaman daw nila ay bati na kami, I tried to talk to him but he avoided me. And now we decided to swim, sya lang ang wala.

"Uhmnn..ano..ahh..tanong mo nalang kay James." Nate said then he walked away.

Napatingin naman ako kay James, nagkamot ito nang ulo.

"Ahhh..swimming na tayo!" pag iwas nya na sabi sabay takbo papuntang pool.

Nagtatakang napatingin naman ako kay Shawn, pero nag iwas ito ng tingin.

"Luke?" pagbaling ko kay Luke.

He sighed.

"Don't look for someone who is not here Carra." He said.

Napakunot ang noo ko.

"Luke..please?"

Pinag masdan nya ako mabuti, and he knows na hindi ako titgil hangang di nya sinasabi ang totoo.

He sighed.

"He went home."

"He what?!" gulat kong tanong.

"He left already Carra."

My lips parted.

I cannot believed this, he left without saying goodbye, I know he's mad at me..but he knows that I will be hurt if he will leave without a word right? So why?

"I-is it because of a family emergency?"

"I don't know, he just said that he will be leaving. I even thought that he will be leaving with you, or at least he told you about it..."

"Is Margaux with her?" I asked in a small voice.

"Carra..." he said, there's a pain in his voice.

 And with that I already know the answer.

"Never mind, I – I need to go back at the h-hotel, may n-nakalimutan kasi ako.." sabi ko na nakayuko, hindi ko na hinintay na makapagsalita pa si Luke, tumakbo nalang ako palabas ng Villa. Nang makarating ako sa room namin nila Eunice ay tuluyan nang pumatak ang luha ko.

I don't know why I'm crying, I don't know why I feel bad..all I know is that I'm hurting, but why am I hurting? Diba nga hindi pa naman ako in love sakanya? So why am I acting like a jealous girlfriend? And why does it hurt like this?

"Sissy? Are you alright?" tanong ni Eunice na tumabi saakin sa kama.

I just noded at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Iling lang ang sagot ko.

"I hate him!" sabi ni Coreen.

Napatingin ako sa gawi nya.

"Coreen!" saway ni Eunice.

"I hate him! He made our sissy cry! She never cried before! I almost grew up with her..she never cried like this not even when Kuya Timothy left!" she said furiously.

And that made me cry more..she was right, i never cried like this before not even Kuya Timothy left..to think that he's one of my favorite person in the world, I consider my Kuya as my bestfriend, my Hero and my protector..but I never cried when he left. Yes I've been sad when he left, but I can still remember the day when he left, some tears escaped from my eyes, but when I wiped it away it my tears suddenly stopped from falling, but now..why is it I can't stop my tears from falling.

"Shhh..don't cry everything will be alright..we'll talk about it when you're ready ok?" Eunice said.

And again I just nodded.

After my breakdown scene we decided na umuwi na ng manila, Coreen fixed everything, she borrowed their company jet to fetch us. Kahit sila Luke ay walang magawa at di kami napigilan na umalis. When we landed at manila, I called my grandparents and asked them their whereabouts. Nalaman kong nasa Hawaii sila ni Gramps that's why I decided to spend my remaining sembreak with them. I needed time to be alone, I needed to think, at hindi ko yun dito magagawa sa pilipinas.

Noong una ay nagpumilit na sumama sila Eunice, lalo na si Coreen, pero pinaintindi ko sakanila na kailangan ko mag isa. Nagkasundo kaming tatlo na hindi ko sakanila sasabihin kung saan ako pupuna para kung may magtatanong man ay wala silang maisasagot. Nakakatuwa pang isipin na si Travis na hindi ko naman boyfriend ay maya't mayang tumatawag para icheck ako..samantalang si Cian na boyfriend ko ay di man lang ako magawang itext. Kaya bago ako umalis ng pilipinas ay nagdecide akong iwan ang Cellphone ko, ayoko kasing umasa at maghintay na itext ako o tawagan ni Cian. Two weeks nalang at pasukan na pero dahil nakaenroll na naman ako, nag decide akong mag extend sa Hawaii ng isa pang lingo. Pinagawan nalang ako ni Mommy ng excuse letter, alam nyang may problema ako..alam nila lahat pero no one bothered to ask, dahil alam nila na kusang akong magsasabi sakanila at the right time.