Art of being a Player...

Over the guy who broke my heart!

"Trav?" tawag ko sakanya. Dumiretso ako sa condo nya, at dahil alam ko ang password ng pinto nya ay nakapasok ako. Bumungad saakin ang madilim nyang living room, binuksan ko ang ilaw at hinanap sya sa pero wala sya kahit na sa kwarto. Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa kama nya. I've been calling him non-stop pero hindi nya sinasagot hangang sa pinatay na nya ang Cellphone nya.

This is the first time na magkatampuhan kami ng seryoso. Everytime na nagkakatampuhan kami ay sya mismo ang nag sosorry saakin kahit na ako ang may kasalanan, eto din ang first time na pinatayan nya ako ng Cellphone. Ibig sabihin talagang masama ang loob nya, sino bang hindi? Kahit ako siguro makitang kahalikan nya ang ex nya ay hindi lang magagalit kung hindi masasaktan din ako. Pero hindi ko naman sinasadya, I never intended to hurt him and I will make him believe me.

Travis has been a perfect boyfriend and a good friend to me. Sya ang kasama ko ng mga panahon na nag mo-move on ako kay Cian. He was there for me, he supported me and he had been my shoulder to cry on. He distracted me and took all the pain that I'm feeling. Day by day he made me feel loved, hindi sya sumuko saakin kahit ako sa sarili ko ay sumuko na. I was so helplessly inlove with Cian that's why when he dumped me It felt like my whole world crushed into pieces but it was Travis who patiently put the pieces back into its proper places. He became my strength and hope..until one night I was able to sleep without crying and without taking a sleeping pill, and the next day I was able to wake up smiling and looking forward to spend my time with the guy who's always making me smile.

He dedicated his whole time to me, he loves me despite of all my flaws and he's spoiling me more than my parents ever did. He is not just my boyfriend but also my bestfriend. He was the reason why I can look at Cian without bitterness, he was the reason why I was able to forgive the guy who broke my heart. He was the reason why I still believe in love. And most of all He is the guy who's so in love with me,and I love him too. Alam kong mahal ko si Travis, walang duda..pero nang tawagin ako ni Cian na 'GORG' kanina..lahat ng happy memories naming dalawa ay nagbalik, at nang halikan nya ako ay bumilis uli ang tibok ng puso ko. Kasabay ng pag kaalala ng masaya at malungkot naming memories ay ang pagkaalala ng pag mamahal ko sakanya.

Yes I still love him. And I hate myself for that! Sinubukasn kong kapain ang feelings ko kay Travis, and despite the fact that I still feel something towards Cian, is also the fact that Travis has a place in my heart. I do also love Travis.

Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na pala ako.

I can't believe that I will love two different guys at the same time. but the question is sino nga ba ang mas mahal ko? pinahid ko ang luha ko at humiga sa kama ni Travis, I hug his pillow. Maybe I still love Cian, but I know time will come and my love for Travis will overcome my feelings towards Cian. 

I will always choose Travis, because he is my present. And Cian will always be my past!

Nakatulugan ko ang pag iisip tungkol kay Cian at Travis. Naalimpungatan nalang ako ng maramdaman ko ang kamay na humahaplos sa pisngi ko. Automatic na napadilat ako. Nakapupo si Travis sa gilid nang kama,ang isang kamay nya ay nakahwak sa kanan kong kamay habang ang isa ay humahaplos sa mukha ko. He looks hurt and devastated that made me feel bad, nanubig bigla ang mata ko. This is my fault! he is hurting because of me.

Bigla akong napaupo at mabilis na yumakap kay Travis.

"I'm sorry..I'm sorry.."umiiyak kong sabi.

Gumati ng yakap si Travis. Hinalikan nya ang ulo ko.

"Shhh..it's ok, it's ok..stop crying." He whispered.

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sakanya, hinawakan ko ang mukha nya.

"I didn't kiss---"

"It's ok Angel, please let's not talk about it.." nagsusumamo nyang sabi.

"But.."

"I just want to know something.." he said while wiping my tears.

I nodded at him while trying to stop myself from sobbing.

"D-did y-you love me?" alanganin nyang tanong. Fear is visible in his eyes.

Nanlaki bigla ang mata ko.

Shit now he's doubting my love for me! And that's because of what he saw. I know merong mga insecurities si Travis kay Cian, at dahil yun sa alam nya kung gaano ko minahal noon si Cian, at paano ako halos mahirap buoin ang sarili ko ng maghiwalay kami ni Cian.

"I did! And I still love you!" mabilis kong sagot at bigla nya uli akong niyakap. This time it is him who's crying.

"I love you too angel..I love you so much. I don't care what happened yesterday as long as you love me, I'm already contented, and I'm sorry too..i'm so sorry." He cried.

Travis has forgiven me without thinking twice. He loves me that much, that it's making me feel bad and guilty for loving him and Cian at the same time. But I will choose him, always him over the guy who broke my heart.

"Get up! I'll drop you home, you need to fix yourself, we're having lunch with Mom."

Nakangiting tumayo ako, This is what I love about Travis, hindi sya marunong magtanim ng sama ng loob, with a simple sorry he has already forgiven me.

Hinatid ako ni Travis sa Mansion, nag insist pa sya na susunduin ako para abay kami pumunta ng Restaurant pero tumangi ako, and sabi ko sakanya ay magkita nalang kami doon dahil out of the way pa kung babalik sya dito saamin para lang sunduin ako. Bago sya umuwi ay niyakap nya ako ng mahigpit at hinalikan ang ulo ko ng ilang beses while saying 'I'm sorry', mas lalo tuloy akong na guilty dahil sa tingin ko wala naman syang kasalanan, sa aming dalawa mas ako dapat ang mag sorry. But Travis being a gentleman that he is whole heartedly took the blame.