Art of being a Player...

The promise

Pinasok ako ni Cian sa isang black FJ Cruiser, at isinuot saakin ang seatbelt bago lumipat sa driver's seat.
"You fool! What are you doing with your life! Why did you have to join that event! Are you suicidal?!" inis kong sabi sakanya.
"Now your talking to me huh?" he said then smiled bitterly.
"What?"
"You have been avoiding me like a plague Gorg, I've been chasing you for almost a week and all you did is to hide. So don't blame me for loosing my mind because it's all because of you." He said while cluching the steering wheel.
"Oh come on Cian?! Not because I avoided you, you'll just decide to join that kind of event and risk your life! My Goodness Cian! That's too dangerous..you almost have a serious accident! Good thing gasgas lang inabot mo! Why are you throwing your life just like that?!" galit kong sabi.
"Because my Life is nothing if you're not in it!"galit nyang sigaw.
Napadiretso ako ng upo at sinubukan ko mag salita pero walang lumalabas sa bibig ko.
"When I hurt you and you left, I felt so empty.. my mind can't work properly kasi palaging ikaw ang nasa isip ko, I just need to do something.. I needed to distract myself..and that was the only time that I can distract myself..and that's what made me survived Carra. I don't care about the physical injury Carra, because I'm already numb.. what I'm feeling here in more painful than any accident that I will ever have." He said while pointing on his chest.
"So you'll just throw away your life just like that?" I said in trembling voice.
"I told you, my life is nothing without you so I couldn't care less if something happened to me." Bale wala nyang sabi.
I crossed my arms on my chest and look away.
"W-whatever Cian."
"Is that all you can say?"
"Yeah..becasue I'm tired with so much drama..palagi nalang tayong ganito." Umiiling kong sabi, then I decided to close my eyes and clear my mind until I feel asleep.

"I hate you! I really hate you!" I said as I stomped my feet.
"You mean you love me right?!" nakangisi nyang sabi.
Padabog na umupo ako sa couch.

Sino ba naman kasi ang matutuwa? nagising nalang ako na nandito na kami sa resthouse nila sa Tagaytay, akala ko pa naman ay ihahatid lang nya ako sa bahay namin o sa condo ko.

Nilapitan nya ako at kinuha ang kamay ko, pero di ko sya pinansin.
"Nagtatantrums ang baby ko..."nakangising tukso nya.
"Shut up." Ismid ko sabay bawi sa kamay ko.
"Should I call you baby from now on?" patuloy nya.
Napangiwi naman ako. Bipolar ba itong si Cian? Kanina halos galit na galit sya ngayon naman nagpapaka sweet sya.
"Stop it Cian." Umiiling kong sabi.
Napabuntong hininga naman sya.
"Tomorrow is my birthday Carra.." he said while looking at me.
My lips automatically parted.
Anong date na ba ngayon?
"Last year I celebrated it without you because you were in New york, No actually I did not celebrate at all.. the whole time that you were at New York was like a blur to me..I'm like alive but dead inside.."
"Cian.."
"But when you came back.. it was like i was given a second chance to live again..but when I learned that you are already with Travis..it's like dying the second time around. "
"C-cian.."
He breathe deeply and smiled at me.
"It's ok, it's all in the past..what's important is that you are here with me now."
He then touches my face.
"Can I ask a gift from you?" he said his eyes are hopefully.
"O-ok.." I said then I swallowed hard.
"Be mine tonight..until tomorrow.." seryoso nyang sabi.
Bigla naman akong napatayo.
"W-what?" nanlalaking mata kong tanong.
Gulat na napatingin sya sa reaksyon ko at biglang napatawa.
"Oh baby, I think you got it wrong..i didn't mean it the way the you were thinking.."nakangising sabi ni Cian sabay hawak sa kamay ka at hila saakin pabalik ng couch.
Feeling ko nag iinit ng husto ang mukha ko.
"I-ikaw kasi kung ano ano sinasabi mo.."
"You just have a dirty mind Gorg.." he said after he chuckled.
"Tsss.." nahihiya kong sabi without looking at him.
"I just want to spend sometime with you with us not arguing.. You're the only person I need and I want to spend my birthday with." He whispered.
"H-how about your parents?"
"They will understand Gorg.."
Napayuko ako, I know what he is asking is wrong but I also know in my heart that I want to make him happy on his birthday..but if I choose to say yes, it also means betraying Travis.
Nakakaloko lang isipin na kung tutuisin ay kami Lang ang nagpapahirap ng sitwasyon. We are two people who's in love with each other and yet can't be together due to the circumstances. Some might say that I just need to break up with Travis then viola everything will be alright, but that's not the way it is... I can't hurt the person who knows nothing but to love me especially someone who already have a special place in my heart. I know I'm the one who's making things complicated..pero this is the price the I and Cian has to pay. He dumped me and I moved on, then when our path crossed again we can't deny the love that we are feeling but due to our actions in the past we cannot just go back in each others arms..that's the consequence of what we had done.
"Will you grant my wish?" bigla akong napatingin sakanya, his eyes are pleading and it's like I have no power to decline.
But I have to...
"I..I c-cant Cian.."
"You can, you just don't want too.."he said in a sad voice.
"Because it's wrong, kahit sinong matinong babae na may boyfriend ay tatangi rin Cian." Napakagat ako ng labi.
"Please Gorg.."
"No.."
He sighed, then napahawak sya sa buhok nya at tumahimik na para bang nag iisip.
"This will be the last thing that I'll ask from you, I swear di na kita guguluhin o kukulitin. I won't do anything that will ruin your relationship with travis.. I'll just wait for you to come back to me..just please say that you're mine until tomorrow." Nakikiusap nyang sabi.
"You promise that?" paninigurado ko.
"Yes..kahit na mahirap, if that's the only way to make you mine until until tomorrow..then yes it's a promise."
Pinagmasdan ko syang mabuti, hope is all over his face, it also seem like he is holding his breath while his hand is cold. Hindi ko namalayan na tumatango na pala ako, his face suddenly lit up.
"Thank you Gorg.." he said happily. "Let's forget our situation Gorg, let's forget the pain for a moment and let's just be happy for awhile..ang please forget Travis, kahit hangang bukas lang." he said then he hug me.