idk bro gimme a break

Upping my Ratio study: "For I, a lover"

In a whiplash of endless games and banters, where does one lie? To guess whom or what, to know the truth has become more of a luxury than any other beverage across the galaxy.

Liquor has been proven to dissipate till 12 system hours, but curiosity remains in the back like a sunken lemon. Never truly removed until one is satisfied with their drink or if one simply gives it up for another one.

Aventurine has proven himself as an imbecile yet again. He took a route that Ratio didn't anticipate. Fumbling once more. He should have known he was doomed when the family had taken his cornerstone. What was he thinking putting himself inside a lion cage? What a moron. He could have waited for Topaz to arrive but the wonder boy who loves to show his feathers took the spotlight and now...

And now, Aventurine lies in the bed that he once laughed at. He teased Ratio about this bed, telling him "Now, you can take a bath for a longer duration, Doctor". It was uncalled for and unfunny, but it was a rare occurrence in which Ratio had seen Aventurine flash such... smile. The fondness and innocence of the joke, words that didn't mean harm yet it brings a sense of closeness.

It was a stupid statement. Ratio did not entertain it further.

With his blonde strands whipped inside the tub, his face was peaceful and calm. Ratio found himself clenching his fist. He knew it would happen one way or another, yet he still let himself succumb to these endless thoughts of merciless acts.

It's irrational and completely derailed from his character. He shouldn't, yet he can't help it.

He's a scholar, not a fighter. To seek the truth is his goal. Death may have been the only way, Ratio knows Aventurine longed to be free and happy.

But why can't that happiness be him? Why must it be death?

A selfish thought to shift his emotion.

Instead of feeling the anguish hitting his chest over and over, Ratio prefers to be mad.

Aventurine is such an idiot. A lovely idiot who captured his heart. A selfish idiot who only thinks of himself. A fucking idiot for choosing death over Ratio.

But still, he can't hate Aventurine. For he is nothing but a lover and a scholar.