𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

53 | In My Head

Baby, you could start a cult, you see
Anywhere you go, I'll be
✰

I don't blame him for staying away all day. I told myself he was giving me space and honestly I believe he is but another part of me feels like he's giving himself space.

They were all gone, leaving me and Felix once again. Making us entertain ourselves and today we settled with the pool. A pool day for just the two of us, how fun...

"What went wrong?" Felix asks me for the first time. My skin soaking up the sun as I lean back on my palms, feet in the water. He floated on a pool float, also letting his light skin become tan.

"What did you hear?" I ask him, still unaware of what was heard and afraid it was everything, expect Felix never gave me the impression that he heard any of it. Not asking me about last night until now.

Felix shrugged "Not much, I was in my room when I heard the door slam and that made me get up" I let out a small sigh and looked down into the water where my feet softly splash mindlessly, "Hyunjin actually told me to go back to my room but I couldn't..." I look up to meet his worried eyes, "I needed to know you were okay"

I give him a soft smile "I'm okay" I reassure him, shrugging "The argument..." I swallow harshly, "It was a bit dramatic" I force out a chuckle.

Felix smiled and nods "I know things haven't been the greatest with all of us but I won't sit here and tell you that Minho doesn't care about you" He opened up.

I bite at the inside of my cheek and take in his words. All that's been on my mind was last night and I tried to be present with Felix but it was hard when I knew I needed to talk to Minho.

The ring on my finger glistened and I took a deep breath. I don't know what was right or wrong in this situation. I only knew one thing and that one thing felt very wrong right now.

✰

"We had a really good day" Felix gushes to the others as we sit for dinner. Minho didn't spare me a single glance as he sits beside me, body completely ridding me off as he started to put food on his plate.

"Why did you guys have a pool day without me?" Seungmin whines.

We look at the male confused "How did you know we had a pool day?" Felix asks suspiciously.

Jeongin looks at Seungmin and glares at him "And everyone thinks I'm the rat"

"We looked at the cameras" Hyunjin admits, continuing to eat his food.

Felix and I look at each other and Chan says "It's good to see some of us in high spirits" I look at him and he looks beside me and to Minho who ate silently.

For the rest of dinner, I fought the urge to talk to Minho, I knew I needed to but right now just wasn't the time. So as everyone started clearing out and finishing up their food, Minho stood and did the same—I followed his actions and him out of the dining room.

I knew he was aware I was behind him, as we walked into the low-lit room—nightstand lights on, I looked to the floor to see the shattered glass still there. I close the door behind me and lean against it as I look up to see him pace slowly.

"How are you?" I asked him which was a silly thing to ask but it's what I wanted to know.

He stops, catching him off guard as he looks at me for the first time since last night, his hair was slightly disheveled and his eyes were red—possibly from lack of sleep.

"You're asking me how I am?" His words were like he couldn't believe what I had said.

"Well yeah, I am," I tell him lightly, "I want to know if you're okay"

His hand rubs over the slight stubble on his jaw as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, looking over at me he says "I told you to leave"

My eyes leave his as I walk to the glass on the floor, picking it up as best as I can "You did" I stand up and place the glass on the desk.

"But you're here?"

I look at him and nod slowly "I am" I answer "Do you want me here?"

He looks over me before putting his face in his hands, rubbing harshly before shrugging "You want to know everything but how much of everything do you really want to know?" He lays it all out on the table for me to pick and I think for a second. He looked so tired, we were both so tired.

I walk to him, picking and asking "Why do you take pictures of them?" His brows push together, "That what I want to know right now, the rest you can tell me with time"

He looks up at me, vulnerable and ready to
surrender as he says "My dad" He whispers into the space between us, "He would take pictures of me before and after I was in the basement for a certain amount of days, I think to see how much I could change over those days" He opened up, "It feels like I'm gaining that control back"

I frown at his confession, my hand finding his face and I could've sworn I heard a small sigh escape his lips. "I don't want to lose you" I finally tell him what I've been wanting to all day. His eyes locked on mine as I continue "All day I've been in my head about if it makes me a bad person to not care about what you do as long as I have you" I kneel before him and his hand grips my mind "Losing this scares me the most"

In seconds he was the one grabbing my face and pushing his lips onto mine. For days now things between us were off and I truly felt like I would lose him to it all. To this secret he kept and the distance he was building unknowingly. I couldn't let it happen, I had to force it out of him because if I didn't I would've never learned the truth.

It was gone now. The secret that was held between us was gone and now it was just us. That's all we needed.

Minho pulls away, searching my face "I'll never hurt you" he tells me, "Never"

I nod because I knew he wouldn't, he never has intentionally hurt me. "I know"

*Song rec - You Could Start A Cult
by Niall Horan*