take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 5•

billie pov:

3 weeks have passed since the funeral and river hasnt left my side, i recorded ocean eyes and we are working on a few more takes to see which one is best

im laying on my bed and river is in the shower, i scroll on instagram until i hear the door creak open and its river in my briefs and a laced light blue bra "could i have one of your hoodies" she asks but im so stuck in admiring her

"eyelashes" she snaps "my eyes are up here" "i know how could i ever miss those" "can i have a hoodie now?" i see her cheeks turn red

i nod and she takes one from my closet and lays right ontop of me and sighs "whats up river"

"nothing eilish im just tired"

i am deeply inlove with her but no one knows but i knew i wanted river when my heart was telling me i did

my heart raced as thoughts went through my mind, what if i told her i liked her? what if she rejected me? what if she wasnt gay but most importantly what if it ruined our friendship?

"your heart is racing bils" she giggles and i blush, so i start tickling her until she accidentally grabs my wrist and stares into my eyes

her beautiful light green eyes and her perfect plump lips sitting there perfectly, as her soft brunette hair falls perfectly infront of her chest, not to mention her perfect waist that my arms fit perfectly around

before i knew it she was leaning in until my mom walks in "dinner is" she kissed me. and my mind raced as i kissed her back. FUCK.

she kissed me? my stomach had butterflies flying around everywhere, our lips fit perfectly until i hear my door closing we pull apart

"river" she cuts me off "im sorry" she says "why are you sorry" "that was stupid of me im so sorry" she gets up and puts her grey sweats on and walks out leaving me laying on my bed the happiest girl ever, but does she think its a mistake?

river pov:

i kissed her fuck. what came over me? as i walk out i head straight to finneas's bedroom and walk in "marlow knocking is nice" he jokes "finneas i kissed her"

he shoots to look at me "what?" he says shocked "she tickled me, i grabbed her wrist and our eyes met and i leaned it" his eyes widen "she kissed me back but i think she was just scared to"

billie walked in.

"fin. river?" she looks at me and slams the door shut

"shit" i say "ill text you" i say as i head to billies room

i walk in and shes staring at the wall fiddling with her jewellery "billie its not like that" "what you saying it was a mistake than telling finneas?"

"billie listen to me" "listen to what? you tell me how it was a mistake" she yells, oh no

"i dont want to ruin our friendship i dont know why i kissed you i just did" i fucked up i knew exactly why i kissed her, i want her, i want her all to my self i want to be the one to help her and kiss her whenever i feel like it, i want her to be there for me i want her in ways i never thought i would

"well i kissed you back" she looks at me

"why? why did you billie"

"because i didnt want to reject you and you get embarrassed" oh

i walk out and close the door as i head downstairs to put my shoes on i hear glass shatter i sprint back up the stairs, at the same time finneas runs out his room and maggie shouts "everything okay" finneas replies "i just dropped something" he says rushing to billies door "well im heading to the store i wont be long" and maggie leaves to go to the store

i run to billies door but its locked "billie open" i say trying the handle

"fuck off" she shouts "billie open the fucking door" i slam my hand against it, mine and billies anger doesnt mix well together especially with her tourette's she could be freaking out in there and i cant get in

all this because i said something stupid.

"did you not hear me, leave me alone river" i slap my hand so hard on the door it felt numb. dumb idea "open it billie" finneas tries to pull my arm but i snatch it back "billie if you dont open this door im going home and im staying there"

silence.

the door clicks and i rush in seeing the mirror in a thousand pieces on the floor with blood dripped leading to the bathroom

shes sat there with her hand pouring "billie i didnt mean it" i whisper i sit on her bed and she closes the restroom door and locks it. does she really want this again?

will they fix it? or will they continue to argue about it...