chapter 19•

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river pov:

fuck i groan to my self "hey sleepy" noah says hovering over me as i lay on our sofa "wait im home" he laughs "where else would you be" "did i not tell you?"

"no you didnt" he says lifting my legs and putting them on his lap so he could sit

as i explain everything to him his jaw is on the floor and daisy walks in "whats with your face"
she says leaning over to noah and kissing his cheek

"you might wanna hear this" he says to daisy

so i explain it all over again and they are both in shock "but she cant seem to leave ashley so what do i do" "you do what you want your not in the wrong billie is"

true. but am i just as bad if i know she has a girlfriend?

"yeah it was pretty eventful last night but i enjoyed it, but now i crave her touch more" they laugh "shes the love of your life your going to"

my phone pings and its billie

'hey want to hang?' "GUYS SHES TEXTED" i yell they must be so sick of my lesbian ass

'sure' i run into my room getting out my jeans and corset out laying them on the bed, pulling my air forces out the box and sitting them on the bed

'ill pick you up in 20? send me your location'

oh yeah, i told her last night i live with my best friends and she seemed pretty amazed that i sold the house on my own and moved all the shit but who needs a man? not me

i get in a shower and finish doing everything i needed to, i blow-dry my hair and put on my outfit, i land myself staring at the picture of me and billie 3 years ago.. im sat on her lap smiling holding the ocean eyes cover disk while she looks like shes being held at gun point

"i think shes here" i snap my self from it and run to the door giving daisy a hug and nodding to noah "ill tell use all about it" i giggle closing the door behind me

as i get into her car "wow" i hear her say under her breath "hey" i smile she smiles back and starts the car "where are we going" i question

she giggles and just keeps driving, i turn the radio on and her song comes on 'i love you by billie eilish' i sing along and she looks at me "ashley doesnt even know all the lyrics" she giggles "i know the whole album already" she rolls her eyes and laughs

and we get to the spot, the rocks, our childhood place we have so many memories here it brings back the good old times when we would sit here with our parents and eat ice cream or me and billie would run into the sea while finneas chased after us

giggling like such kids, now we are older we couldnt do that anymore not like we used to anyway

"i thought no better place to talk than here" she comes to my side and opens the door for me, my heart fluttered and we walked to the rocks

"so about last night" she begins "no its okay i get it, ashleys your girlfriend and that wont change we shared a kiss billie and it was amazing but we cant do that i understand"

she looks at me confused "thats not what i was going to say" she laughs but she never ended up telling me what she was going to say we just got lost in conversation but my heart was breaking every time i seen her face light up when she spoke about ashley

i wanted that to be me. yes im selfish but i want her all to my self  "so did you meet anyone?" do i tell her yes or do i tell her no?

"kinda" perfect river "what does kinda mean" she giggles, oh how ive missed hearing her giggle "yeah i met someone but i broke up with her two months ago it didnt feel right" i feel the air get tight

"what do you mean didnt feel right" its like shes trying to force it out of me so i decide to spit it at her instead "because nothings felt right since i left you that day, ive been craving your touch, your lips, your nails running through my hair whenever im sad, or you placing my hand in yours when something got to hard to handle, ive missed you and i thought about you every fucking day, but you didnt reach out i didnt even know you came out until noah told me and even then you didnt bother to call you forgot about me" my eyes felt like they were bleeding i was crying for the first time in two years. and its because billies back in my life...

"i didnt forget about you" "really? so where were the pictures of us on your wall that where there three years ago? where was my shoe collection we put on your shoe rack? where was my number in your phone the other night when you asked me for it" i say standing up

and to which she follows me "i thought things would be different now that we are older, now that youve came out but i realise if you had did that years ago we probably would be together and ashley wouldnt be in the picture"  i push her my minds going crazy, my hearts racing

"river calm down" she touches my arm and i scream "i love you billie" everything went silent even the sea stopped crashing against the rocks, the birds stopped chirping and my heart beat got faster

she looked into my eyes and i couldnt help but cry even more, those ocean eyes that havent met mine like this since the last day i ever saw her

she leaned in and kissed me and it felt like my veins had popped and all of a sudden the sea started crashing against the rocks the busy roads became loud again as she held my waist and pulled my closer

THANK YOU FOR 1k READS THIS MEANS SM TO MEEEE

ITS BEEN CONFIRMED... BILLIES A WHORE

lets spice things up...

also if i do smuts do yall want a warning or should i just make use surprised

take my hand //billie eilish//Where stories live. Discover now