take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 37•

river pov:

its been two months, me and billie have facetimed less but ive been busy and so has she, shes been in the studio as her new music comes out soon

im actually headed home because marlow is due in two days, and its also half term which means ill be there to see billie and daisy and noah and everyone else

i mean im already here but im just so scared to get out of my car, im at billies as ive missed her so much but its been three months since ive seen her in person

i cant wait to feel her touch.

"come on river" i say to my self i get out the car and head for the door, walking in and heading to her room

shes always in there and if shes not shes in finneas's studio

i walk in, my heart sank

i felt the breaths leave my mouth like my soul had just been sucked out of me,

clenching my jaw spitting "so" "river" she jumped up leaving the shirtless girl on her bed

"just wanted to come surprise you but i guess i got surprised too?" i smile sarcastically feeling my heart getting torn out of my chest

"look" "its not what it looks like" i say mimicking her voice

"its exactly what it looks like, you know i came here first before i went to see anyone else, and i was so excited to finally feel your lips touch mine and your hands around my waist but to be honest i dont want your lips or hands anywhere near me, not after touching her"

i walk past her and get my things

its crazy how many times ive taken my things from her room, and they always end up back in there but no not this time, this is just to far

"i missed you okay" she spat "thats your excuse wow billie ive just forgiven you just like that"

i scoff

by now the girl had left and it was just me and her in the room, i just have to keep my mind strong and not look into her eyes

"i missed you river, thats it i dont want her i want you, we didnt even do anything she came into my bed and took her shirt off i didnt take it off i didnt touch her"

"but let me guess, you didnt kiss her she kissed you, but you kissed her back because you missed me" i laugh "fuck you billie"

"i cant believe i fell for it, you said forever and i almost bought it? well enjoy 'forever' with her"

i grab my boxes and bags and head downstairs and of course she followed me, finneas and claudia walked through the door

"it was a mistake, look im bad for you, especially when we are apart but when we are together i would have never imagined of doing something like that, my mind has been blank since you left"

"i stayed loyal like i promised, but clearly that means nothing to you if you can go and kiss other girls"

claudia's mouth dropped open and she looked at billie as i walked out and headed for my car

opening the trunk as billie spoke shit into my ear

"i love you, nobody else please river give me a second chance"

"how many second chances have i given you billie" she put her hand on my cheek as the tears fell onto the floor

"youve hurt me billie, and i fear this time youve hurt me to much, im sorry but its over" i say pulling her hand from my cheek and closing the trunk pushing past her

"please river" she spoken softly

"marlow is due in two days, i want to be there for daisy, i dont want to have to worry who your jumping in bed with next, im sorry billie but maybe you shouldve kept your promise like i did and this wouldnt of happened, and i would normally say, we will find each other again but maybe thats not the best idea"

i close the door and stare at her one last time before driving to daisies

slamming my hands onto the wheel as i sat in traffic "fuck" i scream into the wheel letting out the rage i havent felt in so long

she cheated, after everything.

maybe i shouldnt off called her that day

~
UHM IM SORRY?

BUT THIS STORY NEEDED THIS I PROMISE.