take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 39•

river pov:

i fell asleep after going home from the hospital, i could hear the sound of arguing outside the door?

i sit up rubbing my eyes and head for the door unlocking it to see noah and daisy fighting? this is so rare for them

i head down the steps "do you want some help"
they both shoot their heads to look at me "yeah could you get marlow and take him up" she smiles at me and noah gives me his usual nod

"of course, come on little man" i say picking him up and taking him upstairs, "he needs feeding, give him this" noah hands me his bottle and takes tons of baby stuff into the nursery

"dadas crazy i know" i say as he looks at me blankly while drinking

i smile and take the empty bottle "someone was hungry" daisy says coming in and taking a seat on the other couch "what was that about" i say

"it was over nothing, literally i think this is getting to us" she sighed "thats why im here, to help okay?" she nodded and and closed her eyes

she mustve been so tired because her light snores filled up the silent room, noah came in and smiled

carrying her into bed, he walked back into the room, taking little man from my arms "how you holding up" he asked me "she actually came by earlier and gave me these for use"

"i obviously told her to stay away because i cant forgive her that easily, i just need to know what i really want"

"of course, but i know use are perfect for each other, what billie did was stupid like awfully stupid but if wants you, she'd prove it" he smiled

i didnt reply because he was right, i know i only want her the thought of anyone else makes me sick but what she did literally shattered my heart after she had just rebuilt it

how many more shatters can my heart take before it never recovers?

my book has been released and alot of my fans have dm'd me telling me how much they love it already, im so happy

i finally have my own money to i can support them and my self im feeling happy at this moment

i scroll through instagram, until i see a post of billie sat in a graveyard? what.

'why is billie eilish in a graveyard? who is she visiting without mrs marlow'

my dad.

"im just going to go out ill be back call me if you need anything" noah smiled as marlow made baby noises at his dads silly faces

i grab my keys and sprinted to my car

seeing her at my dads grave made guilt wash over me, i mean she hurt me but seeing how much shes trying to make it right? i dont know

driving there, taking every shortcut possible, i got out of my car and saw paparazzi swarming on the other side of the street, fuck.

i run into the graveyard seeing the black haired girl sat there with my book, flowers and a letter

i stopped my self. i didnt approach her i watched from afar

i could hear her faintly talking "im sorry i hurt her, that wasnt my aim, i regret letting the girl
help me but i felt awkward rejecting her"

river no.

river dont.

i slowly walked up to her, tears pooling in my eyes ready to bleed over.

taking a deep breath, sitting next to her not saying a word, i felt her eyes burn on me

i looked to her and she spoke

"i can go" fuck.

"i saw you were here, paparazzi have swarmed outside" giggling a little bit knowing how much she cares about her privacy

"fuck sorry" "don't apologise we all miss him" she smiled lightly "i just thought maybe i could come here and apologise to him, i promised id never hurt you"

billie pov:

~flash back~

i was helping her dad build her new desk for her birthday, "billie pass me that please" he asked.

looking at him knowing i was inlove with this daughter made me feel awkward, i would love to tell him but i couldnt

"you know one day kiddo when my times up"
"dont say that please" we both laughed
"promise me youll look after her for me"
"of course"

"say you promise me, no matter what happens between use, you will look out for her because i know she will look out for you, use need each other"

i couldnt help but smile "i promise forever"

~end of flashback~

"thats the way life goes, mistakes happen but you have to learn from them" she said looking at me like she could see right through me

"i really am sorry" "we shouldnt do this here, but noah told me yesterday if you really wanted me again, youd prove it" and she got up walking away without another word

the guilt i feel right now, i feel sick.

i never wanted to hurt the girl i loved most in this world

i will prove my self and win her back

i dont want anyone but her

~

YALL I APOLOGISE, FOR REAL

HMM WHERE DO I WANT THIS TO GO