take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 63•

billie pov:

i fell asleep on the sofa, and i heard audrey crying

i went up the stairs and took her out, "hey princess" as soon as she heard my voice she calmed

my mom and dad where coming to take her for the weekend so me and ri could do some stuff together

i have it all planned.

im going to take her for food then we will go to the rocks and talk and once we come home do a highschool musical marathon and that was only for today.

as its all she spoke about for the past two weeks

she is normally awake at this time, but i didnt want to disturb her so i walked past the room and let her sleep for a few extra hours.

i sat with auds for a few hours, i didnt hear anything from upstairs, it was like the whole world was silent until the door clicked

it was my parents, i giggled as she saw my mom and reached out for her instantly "i see how it is" i said smothering her in kisses and handing her to my mother

we spoke for around half an hour "wheres river" my mom questioned as normally im the one whos still asleep and she's downstairs with audrey

"shes asleep, not feeling well" my mom looked at me and she knew what i was talking about "well we will get going use two have fun"

i nodded hugging them and closing the door

sprinting up the stairs

i heard the door open again?

"did you forget something" i shouted

"no" i heard finneas, i totally forgot we planned the dinner with them "ill be down in a sec"

i opened the door and saw her facing the wall "ri" i giggled "its 12"

"dad" she giggled "its 11:30"

shes a deep sleeper for real, i sat on the bed placing my hand on her curve "ri" feeling my heart beating fast

my head spinning

"ri" i shook her lightly

"dad" she said shaking him as his body moved in the same motion as her hand

her body rocked back and fourth with my hand

"river" i shout

"dad" she screamed

"no ri please" i cried "ri" i placed my head on her shoulder "please" "FINNEAS" i screamed

as he ran in his face turned white

like had seen this all before

"its river, she wont wake up im shaking her shes not waking up" claudia stood in the door way in shock as she noticed

the pills on the side, the 4 empty packets and a half of one

her eyes glued to them i looked over, as the tears ran down my face like a river.

i turned her body on her back, her face was white her eyes where dark around them, her lips blue

"this is a joke" i cried "wake up, tell me its a joke" i yelled at her as finneas and claudia ran to me and grabbed me

"no" i said as the held me there, watching my dead wifes body stay there not waking up

the more i looked at her the more i could feel the sick come up my throat.

i span around running to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet as i sat there, not able to move anymore

my body was weak my heart was hurting and my eyes became sore instantly

"shes gone" i said as they stood there "my wife, the mother to our baby is dead" i spat, feeling lifeless my self i sat there

head in my knees as finneas called an ambulance and claudia called my family

the door flung open and it was my parents, my mom was distraught as my dad looked heart broken

"mom" i cried as she hugged me "shes gone" i sobbed as claudia held the only thing i had left of her

i let go of my mom and held audrey in my arms

as i sat against the wall just crying, i looked at her, she had the same eyes i fell inlove with, the same cheeks that always became more chub when she smiled

the way her nose was the same size as rivers i touched her face and it was like i couldnt even look at my own baby

i handed her to claudia and ran downstairs

holding my chest, as my breathes struggled to escape

"i cant" i spoke to my self "please" i said gripping into the side of the island

the ambulance ran in and straight upstairs "no please" i said following them upstairs "dont take her" i sobbed

as claudia held me close "please" i watched them lift my wifes body, it was floppy like how it used to be when she was tired

i watched them take her downstairs and into the van i froze, as everyone began to ask me questions i walked into my room

slamming the door laying on my bed

i could smell her scent on her pillow, her side was cold and empty which i wasnt used to

will i ever be used to it?

~
I AM SO SORRY

I SOBBED WRITING THIS

THERE IS ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS AND THEN ITS THE END

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS ENJOYED THE BOOK.

🙏