take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 16•

river pov:

we have had no sleep we told claudia to go to bed and get some rest and we will fill her in in the morning

its currently 9:34am and i have been back and forth with drew all night, but she sent the screen shot and shes ready to post it everywhere

"billie" i dont want to say this but what other choice do i have "i think we should go our separate ways" "no river we can figure this out"

"we cant billie theres no stopping her unless we do what she says and maybe when this passes and when your ready to tell the world we will find each other"

"wait you know?" fuck. "of course i do billie but i would never force it out of you, maybe in the future"

i get up from the bed and start collecting my shit "river please" billie says fidgeting with her rings

"billie i want whats best for you, and right now its your career and if we have to separate until your ready to tell people than thats how it has to be"

my mom hasnt spoken to me so i guess ill stay at my house she still hasnt sold it and im actually pissed because i packed for no reason

"i love you billie forever and always" she looks down

"look at me"

"take my hand, look at me i love you" she looks at me

i kiss her. this just makes me leaving her alone harder

she kisses me back "i love you to river" "ill never forget you billie and i will find you again"

i let go of her hand and take my bags downstairs, putting them in my trunk, maggie and patrick got me a car for my birthday and i am really grateful and i hope billie fills them in about whats happening

i give billie one last hug and whipser in her ear "ill listen to ocean eyes everyday i promise, ill support you from afar until we are ready to be close again, i left something in your room to remind you of me this is goodbye bills but not forever i promise" "just remember i wrote hostage for you river" i feel her smile into my neck

i pull away not looking into her eyes because i know id turn back around and refuse to leave, so its now or never

as i start my car i look to my right and i see claudia hugging billie as she breaks down, all of this because drew is threatening to leak shes gay?

seems stupid that we are doing this but billies career is important to me

as i pull into my drive way i realise im all alone, i have nobody

i get my bags out my trunk and carry them inside, as i place down my bags i feel my phone ping

'me and my dad are going to help you move all your stuff back in, billie just told them' my heart sunk

i havent just lost billie ive lost finneas, maggie, patrick, claudia and maybe even zoe

'thank you' i reply and place my phone on the island

taking my bags upstairs putting them on my dads bed sitting on the end

i cant believe this is really happening, my childhood best friend the girl i am inlove with, gone like that?

i turn on the tv and play ocean eyes singing along as i unpack all my clothes placing them into my closet

i accidentally pull out billies favourite hoodie she always let me wear i smile placing it on my dads bed before walking back into my room and hanging the photos of me and billie, me and finneas, me and claudia, me and maggie and patrick on my photo wall

until i hear a knock at my door, they brought my stuff already?

i run downstairs and they are here with a huge white van with literally everything inside i sigh and gesture them "do use need help" "we got it" finneas speaks

~time skip~

and just like that after 4 hours of moving back in, it looks exactly how it did the day i left

i go into my bedroom and flop into my bed, i scroll through instagram and see billie posted a pic of her in the studio, id be sat next to her right now listening to her sing

i sigh throwing my phone to the side and closing my eyes...

im sorry...

I HAD TO SPICE IT UP