river pov:
its been 3 weeks and me and billie are official her fans love me, obviously theres a few haters but who gives a fuck im happy, tbh im the happiest ive ever been
but its been hitting me recently its 4 years since my dad left us, its hitting me extra hard because my life is actually going good now
i get things fall apart, but this bad? but i wouldnt tell billie im struggling shes going on tour tomorrow and im so happy im going too
"hey mamas" he perfect black hair straightened her deep ocean eyes staring right into mine "hey baby" i say softly as she sits on my lap while i do my makeup
"hows daisy" we decided that its best we dont live together at the moment because we are two weeks into the relationship and we seem to argue less when we live separately and the more we miss each other the more effort we want to put in
"shes amazing shes getting big now though" "any names" she says as she plants a kiss on my jawline "they want to name him marlow" i smile
"thats adorable" i smile, i couldnt be more thankful that daisy has decided to name her baby boy after my last name its like an honour
"well i actually have a surprise for you" she says handing me one of her bandanas, she ties it around my eyes and i hear her door open
"spin" im scared... really scared "take it off"
"you got us a puppy" "hes called shark" i giggle at the name im scared for our future kid names...
"but what about tour we will be gone for three weeks" "noah and daisy said theyd love to have him" i squeal and throw my self at her "i love you" i say as i pull her face down to kiss me
she kisses me back and i leap into her bed to play with shark.
"billie" "yeah" she says giving me her full attention "i was wondering if on tour maybe we could go see my mom" ive been debating on seeing my mom for a while
we all make mistakes and its what my dad would have wanted, he wouldnt of wanted me to hate her forever for a mistake made 6 years ago
"of course we can if thats what you really want" "it is" i smile and claudia bursts in "which one for tomorrow" she holds both outfits up
"the white dress and heals will really compliment your body clauds" "you think" "i know" she smiles and runs out "someones excited" billie giggles
i lay down and shark plonks him self on my thigh "he loves you already" billie says as she lays next to me admiring me
"my boy loves his friends like i love my split ends, and by that i mean he cuts them off" billie sings breaking the silence
i cant wait to see her on stage, we werent speaking on her other tour and im really excited to see my girlfriend give her all for her fans
we sit in silence as billie hums more songs on the setlist as we scroll through instagram until i come across TMZ with a new post
its a pic of me and billie 'some fans say downgrade from the last girlfriend, looks like shes not really interested do we agree'
and i feel a wave of sadness fall over me, ive never been the confident type with how i look and i know billie out of my league but ouch.
i mean yeah i look disengaged but it was just a bad shot? "look at this" i say handing my phone to billie, she rolls her eyes and hands me my phone back
she starts to aggressively scroll through instagram to find the post "bills dont" i say stroking shark "its what they want" i scoff
"its just so infuriating why do they need to post shit like that" "its fine babe it doesnt bother me" i say reassuring her but it definitely hurts i just want her fans to like me and if they see these posts and accusations flying around its not going to happen...
"well ill head home to see daisy before i say my goodbyes for 3 weeks" i laugh planting a kiss on her cheek and smothering shark in love "oh so shark gets more love than me now? how rude" she says crossing her arms playfully
"tour will be a whole different world of love for you mamas" i say sassily and head out
ive been loving these past weeks me and billie have been official and i guess she is too. im really happy.
~
I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK
BUT IM SO LOVING SABRINAS NEW ALBUM 🙏🏽
YOU ARE READING
take my hand //billie eilish//
Fanfiction"take my hand, look at me and just breath" "billie i cant it hurts my chest is hurting"
