take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 9•

river pov:

its been two weeks since ocean eyes blew up and since then it hasnt stopped being streamed i couldnt be more happy for them both, zoe and drew have also been coming round alot more to help and support billie and finneas, its nice having the og group back

"billies became something big, shes been doing amazing and working on more music with finneas and im super happy for her its taking her mind of a lot and shes been letting me give ideas and helping her write some lyrics"

"i just wish you were here to see it all happening dad, you always told her she was talented and i think she could use you telling her" i laugh

i came to sit here for a couple hours while billie and finneas are taking calls and organising interviews which is fun but i just missed my dad and needed to speak to him

"happy birthday dad" its now 2nd of December 2015 which means my dad wouldve turned 35, yes he was 20 when i was born and my mom was 19 but they told me when your inlove youd know which is why i have one more thing to say

"this may sound crazy like really crazy" i laugh "i love her, alot has happened since you left but all i know is i love her, shes been there for me through everything making sure im okay and that im pleased, mom came back for your funeral but i dont know if im ready to let her back into my life but billie has been helping me make that decision to" my phone starts to ring

'eyelashes 🩶' "it was so nice to finally come talk to you dad and i promise ill come more often, happy birthday i miss you"

i pick up the call "marlow where are you" i giggle "billie you sound different" i hear billie laughing "i dont have your number but i guess ill get it off billie, we need you here we have a song billie wants you to hear"

"im on my way gingerbread" he hangs up and i giggle me and billie have been calling finneas that for like a week now and we know he secretly likes it because he laughs and then says "guysssss" in a tone

i get into my uber and head home.

as i walk in i hear billie singing "i wanna be alone, alone with you does that make sense"

i got goosebumps, i take my shoes off silently and tiptoe upstairs

"yeah you feel right so stay a sec" her voice is beautiful

"its not like me to be so mean, your all i wanted, just let me hold you like a hostage" im stood in the door way admiring how beautiful she looks right now

"golds fake and real love hurts, but nothing hurts when im alone....   when your with me and were alone "

i try to take a step forward but the floor creaks and she spins around "river" she says her face lighting up, she gets up and hugs me "wait how long have you been stood there for"

"now thats a secret ill keep" i giggle and take a seat inbetween them

"billie shall we play it from the top, now that its finished" she nods and they play it for me

billie pov:

i get nervous as i wrote this song for her, finneas hits play and i stare at her through the whole thing

her face lighting up when it says "i wanna be alone, alone with you does that make sense" i smile knowing she likes the song

"thats amazing guys" she says with the biggest smile ive seen on her in a long time, she gives finneas a hug and then leaps onto me and almost squeezes me to death "its no where near done yet but itll get there"

"im so happy to hear that i cant wait for it to release ill never have it off" we all giggle "dont worry youll get to hear it before anyone else" billie says winking at me

i blush but hide it "i need water" i giggle "yall did amazing though"

i go downstairs and get some water and see maggie and Patrick i decide to sit with them after i got my water

"did you like the song river" maggie asked "i loved it i havent heard anymore but i think that one might be my favourite" i smile

i stay with them for around an hour speaking about billie and finneas's music and career and then she asked me

"how you feeling today" she knew what day it was "im doing fine i did go by to see him earlier but apart from that im doing great" i lied im doing shitty really shitty, but to tell them that? i couldnt billie is struggling and thats enough for them

patrick sits forward and i feel a rush of panic fall over me "so we received a letter for you but we didnt know if today was the right day but ill give you it incase you do want to open it"

i think nothing of it and i take the letter, opening it reading 'river lee marlow'

as i read and read i feel my self getting hot, like my body had just been set on fire, "is it okay if i read the rest upstairs?" "of course sweetie if you need us give us a shout" "i will thank you so much"

i walk upstairs and feel my self getting uncomfortable in my own skin, the day i dreaded the most has finally came

i fall back into billies bed not realising shes in the shower "river is that you?" she yells "yes"

ill tell her tomorrow...

the day shes always dreaded? hm