take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 44•

river pov:

my hearts felt uneasy since the red carpet event, my book has done even better and i keep seeing my interviews everywhere

liv had to go home for the weekend, family wedding

so im here alone, trying to hold my self together after seeing pictures of billie at the event

i keep scrolling and i see 'liked by billie eilish' on a video of me talking about her, wait when did i unblock her

~flashback~

i couldnt feel my legs i was so drunk, liv had gone out and i was here alone drinking by my self

drinking seems to wash out all the bad energy out of my brain and makes me feel free? i know drinking isnt the answer but right now it seems to be a solution

i decided to go on my phone and unblock her ive missed her and cant stop thinking about her

maybe she will text me first?

~end of flashback~

i tapped onto her account and scrolled and scrolled for around an hour until i got to the photos of us.

this was 6 years ago, before my dad passed, before we even fell inlove i miss her

billie pov:

me and claudia where sat on finneas's bed as he wrote some new music for himself, i was scrolling through her instagram

i dont mean to but when i see her little profile picture i decided to press on her account, ive wasted like half my day scrolling through her account reaching the photos of us

i scroll and scroll reading the captions, until claudias phone rang

"hey" i heard claudia say and i knew who it was by the "clawssss" "hey beautiful how are you" claudia spoke down the phone and god river really was beautiful

"im good i just called to ask about billie" i snapped my head looking at claudia, claudia shushed me and continued to speak to her

"shes good how are you" "i miss her alot clauds" my heart sank, finneas snapped his head at us both as i sat and listened keeping my eyes on claudia but looking at finneas everytime river mentioned my name

"seeing her at the event, broke me and i hope she knows me and liv are just friends im not a slut i dont move on that quick" i felt my self smile

hearing her talk about me in such a positive way after everything ive put her through "ri this is the 4th night this week youve been drunk"

shes drinking that much?

"it helps me, its nothing serious i can stop if i wanted to" is she addicted? does river have an addiction because of what i did to her?

"so please stop" "it feels amazing, i cant feel anything i feel free" she giggled down the speaker and i can imagine her all alone in her room

"should i come up to you" claudia questioned "uhmmmm i mean if you want to" claudia agreed and ended the call

"let me come with you" i begged "billie shes a mess, she has called me everytime shes drunk and its almost everyday, shes not where she wants to be and i know it"