take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 42•

river pov:

a week until the red carpet event, i bought my white dress and heals and had everything planned, i was ready for my book to reach a bigger audience

its friday and we had been invited to a party. i mean we already here and its packed, my first university party and probably first of many

"im going to grab a drink" i say as liv nodded and took a seat

"hey your river right" i felt my arm get touched "yeah" i said slowly, pulling my arm away "chill i just wanted to know if you were" he said

i didnt know his name but he was in my english language "do i know your name i mean its only fair if you know mine"

"noah" he says putting his hand out "i dont do hand shakes but at least i know your name" i said pushing past him heading into the sea of people trying to find olivia

she is no where to be found "if your looking for olivia she went to the restroom" noah says hanging over my shoulder

"mr noah are you following me" i cross my arms "you looked lonely marlow" i rolled my eyes and took a seat

he immediately sat next to me, i dont think he knows im really not interested in men "so why you here, thought you were like super famous" he laughed to him self

"famous?" i questioned "your book?" i thought he meant billie.

god i need to get her out my mind its been 4 weeks since i seen her

noah began to move his hand closer to me, what? "im going to get a drink" i say trying to stand but he placed his hand on my thigh and i felt ill

"noah im not" "you dont need to say anything" he says whispering in my ear, feeling uncomfortable i froze.

letting his hand trace up my thigh even though i wanted nothing more than someone to come punch this dude

he moved his hand up my shirt tracing around my belly piercing

"noah" i say before i know it his lips were on mine, shoving him off me and standing up "im not interested"

he scoffed, gosh his confidence knocked me sick "really im not interested" i say trying to walk away "i could make you interested"

"unless you have nice tits and a pussy im not interested" slamming my drink against his chest and walking up to olivia

"you look really angry" she said as i pulled her outside "can we go please" "what happened river" she demanded an answer

"noah forcing himself on me" i scoffed "he did what" now she was angry "really its okay i just want to leave, but you can stay and ill just go instead"

she ignored me storming inside oh no, "olivia" i try to shout over the loud music, i think we can all agree this is the last uni party ill ever attend

all i could see was olivia in noah's face, i try pushing past the crowd but im literally a midget "move for fuck sake" i say shoving past a group of jocks

standing behind olivia "its not my fault shes hot" he laughed as his 'boys' also laughed along until

olivia slapped him "olivia its fine" "keep your hands and eyes away from her" i drag her away from him and booked us an uber as she still screams at him from the other side of the room

"chill liv" i said as she spun around inches away from my face

no. dont river.

looking away feeling awkward the uber pulled up

what would happen if something did go on between me and liv? would it ruin us like it ruined me and billie?

theres her name again RIVER GET IT OUT YOUR HEAD

we walked into the dorm but before i know it livs lips crashed against mine

this is wrong but maybe i need this.

i ended up on the kitchen counter as liv pulled of my shirt, she was a lot more drunk than i was i was basically sober

kissing her back didnt feel wrong but it also did.

as i ran my hands through her hair i threw my head back in pleasure while she planted wet kisses on my neck

"oh" is all we heard snapping our necks to see a confused claudia stood in the door way , shit.

"clauds what are you doing here" i say jumping down grabbing my shirt from the floor "just came to see you i missed you, but i can go" she says

i shake my head "no i can come" i turn back to liv "ill wait in the car" claudia says as she walked out "shall we forget that happened" we both awkwardly laugh "best idea" i say agreeing

"ill see you when your back" nothing felt awkward as i left the door, i mean we know everything about each other and it was just a makeout its not like we had sex

i mean if claudia didnt come in maybe that would've happened but who knows.

i mean all best friends make out once, right? obviously if your both single.

"what are you doing all the way down here" i say sitting in the passenger seat "i was bored and took a drive" she laughed

"about what you saw that was the first and last time we had just got home from a interesting party" i laugh "dont worry your secrets safe with me" i smiled and hugged

interesting night. i sigh

~
UHM...

AT LEAST IT WONT BE AWKWARD.