chapter 1•

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//tw: losing a parent//

river pov:

its 11am and of course i sleep the day away, what better do i have to do. i check my phone to see three missed calls from 'eyelashes🩶'

my mom and billies mom where best friends in highschool and fell pregnant at the same time kinda billie is two months older than me and we grew up together until my mom left me with my father who didnt take the break up so well

as i go to call billie back i realise i didnt hear my dad in the kitchen? hm weird he must have slept in i press ft and she answers almost immediately

"heyyy pretty girl" i say as she answers not showing her face "billie?" i question. "so i may of did something" oh fuck "i dyed my hair" i jump and run to stand her on my dressing table

"show me show me show me" i say getting all giddy and excited "i dont know riv" "bruh cmon" she shows me and wow the blue hair and the bright blue eyes match really well

"i fucking love it eyelashes" she giggles and rolls her eyes, this may sound strange but when me and billie turned 15 i knew i was gay for her, she was literally my gay awakening but i havent told her only finneas knows

i didnt know how shed take it with obviously her not being gay, finneas tells me she is all the time he talks about the way she looks at me and how much she cares for me but i must be blind because i dont see it

"where the fuck is my dad" i say giggling grabbing my phone to head downstairs to check "river what you doin today" "nothing much" i reply back as i search the whole downstairs for my dad

"billie my dad isnt here" i say "he must be he doesnt leave without saying goodbye?" i can feel my adrenaline pumping and my stomach flipping "wait ill check his room"

as i walk upstairs while billie talks about her brother offering her to sing his new song i walk in and see my dad laying there on the bed

"dad" i giggle "its 11:30" no response? "paulllll" billie shouts through the speaker, he always loved billie and would jump at any opportunity to take her away when she came over or if we facetimed

"dad" i say shaking him but his body just moving in the same motion as my hand

"dad" i scream, my eyes widen and i drop my phone

"river" billie shouts "river answer whats wrong"

"dad" "please" i continue to shake him as i feel the lump form in my throat

"dad please i beg" i cry out

the world went blurry i felt like the walls were caving in and my ears were blocking out every sound but my heart beating 100mph

until i heard billie "im coming over river hold on"

billie pov:

as i heard her phone drop i knew something was wrong so i jump in my car and drive straight to her house

i walk in and run upstairs to see river holding his hand crying into the sheets

"river" i place my hand on her shoulder and she shoots her self into my chest "its okay" i hold her running my nails up and down her back like i normally do

i can hear her breathing getting faster "river im sure hes just in a deep sleep dont stress" i know fine well whats happened but could i tell her that? no absolutely not

"billie look" "look at him" she says stuttering through her sobs

all i could do was hold her until i figured out what to do

"he cant be gone billie hes the only thing i have" she stands up and walks out slamming her door screaming

i instantly shoot up and run to the door and stand near it "river focus on my voice" i say softly "please breath"

"billie hes gone i have no one left" she opens the door knowing she needed me, she stands there looking like someone just drained the soul from her

i grab her hands "look at me river" "take my hand, look at me and just breath" "billie i cant it hurts my chest is hurting" she falls, literally collapses "river focus on my voice" she looks at me, blood shot eyes, her mascara half way down her cheeks

"1"
pause
"2"

"follow me"

"1" i say taking a deep breath
pause
"2" i say exhaling

she copies me until her breathing is kinda normal we need to call someone so i call my mom

"mom" i say trying to stay calm "please come over to rivers bring finneas and dad" my voice shaking

"bils whats wrong" "please mom just hurry" i shout and end it making sure i hold river close as possible...

so uhm yeah.. i had to kick it off with a start ofc i have hope for this story so please any suggestions leave here and ill consider :)

take my hand //billie eilish//Where stories live. Discover now