take my hand //billie eilish//

chapter 28•

billie pov:

i was alone tonight finneas spent the night with claudia and my parents have gone to pick up the tour bus, i couldnt sleep and all that was running through my head was tour tour tour...

the pressure never gets to me im never nervous but river will be there watching me and that gives me chills, i dont want to fuck it up because the love of my life is there

i drag my self out of my bed and shark followed immediately, i walk into the studio and begin playing around with tunes and singing random lyrics

"when im away from you, im happier than ever" hm

i decide to write it down to get finneas's opinion, i start to sing the setlist in order practicing my voice so i dont break

until my phone lights up, rivers facetiming me

"hey pretty girl" i spoke softly

river pov:

"hey pretty girl" the words flowed through my ears as it brought me back to the worst day of my life

i mustve zoned out for a long period as billie was saying my name over and over again until it gradually got louder

"river are you okay" she chuckled "i miss you" i say as my voice breaks, she dropped the mic down and put her full attention on me

"talk to me" she says standing up her camera "i miss him billie" i say whispering it loud enough  she froze she really didnt know what to say

"how about i come pick you up and we could take flowers?" a smile slipped my lips "its 2:30am where would we get flowers" i giggle

"gas station they must do flowers and oooo we could get some takis" she always makes me laugh which i appreciate "i mean its dark we could take shark for a walk too" she wiggles her eyebrows

the idea sounded nice "be here in 10" i hang up and find some grey joggers billie left here a while ago

i head to the living room being as quiet as i can to not wake daisy and noah, slipping into my shoes and grabbing my keys from the same place they always hung

as i go to reach for the door to wait on my steps, the black haired girl was already there debating wether to knock or not

i open the door "you can knock" i say giggling as she locked our hands walking to the gas station while she held sharks lead in the other

"its nice being able to do this, especially without paparazzi" billie says as she hands me a airpod "you didnt have to do this"

i havent visited my dads grave in two years, "i promise to bring you flowers often" with everything that happened i just never had the time i started to slowly loose my self "i promise to always try my best and not give up"

but now that my true love is back into my life and im right where i want to be im gaining my self back, im living up to the promises i made to him 3 almost 4 years ago

lost in thought billie lets go of my my hand and reaches for the white roses, my favourite flowers

"are these okay" she smiles "perfect" as i walk around the gas station looking for anything to quench my thirst i see my dads favourite drink

apple juice, i pick it up, i guess im just trying to relive every second he was here

~flash back~

"dads that's literally disgusting"
i say laughing as takes a drink of the apple juice "youve never even tried it" he says as we continue to walk around the park

"have a try" he says wiggling it around in his hand "no" "ri its nice" he laughs "please no" before i knew it i was being chased around the park by my dad

"your out of breath and need a drink you have no other option" he says with the cheeky grin he always did "fine" i say taking it from his hand

smelling it before i even took a sip, it smelt amazing, taking a sip "sooo" he says "i like it, can i have it" he had never smiled so much since my mom left

"of course ri"

~end of flashback~

i pay for the drink and i also bought billies takis and we made our way to the graveyard walking down the long path to reach my dads i look around, all these graves in here all the families that know exactly how i feel

we reached the headstone and i felt a wave of guilt rush over me, two years since i was last here telling him about me and billie and how inlove with her i am

"you okay riv" she placed her hand on my back as i cried "i havent been here in two years, i broke my last ever promise"

"its not your fault, life went to shit but its better now your getting older things change, hes not mad at you he could never be not at you river" her words where like music to my ears

when billie wanted to she could be so smart and sensible, and when she is in serious situations she always knows what to say

~
SO YUH... RIVER IS STRUGGLING
TOURS IN HOURS, WILL TOUR CHANGE EVERYTHING...