Boy next door-Dan x Reader

Don't fight it-Chapter 7

You woke up wrapped up in Dan's arms, your head on his chest. You nudged him.
"WERE GOING TO THE ZOO!" You half-shouted.
"Hmmmmm," he replied, hugging you tighter.
"I'm sorry, but I'm getting out of bed," you replied. You prized your way out of Dan's arms and padded through to the kitchen greeting Phil in the process.
"Phil, where is the ice?" You pleaded
"Bottom drawer of the freezer, why?"
"Don't worry, and thanks," you replied. You filled a big bag full of ice and walked through to Dan's bedroom. You tipped the contents of the bag down Dan's back.
"Jesus on a boat! F***! I'm up, I'm up!" Dan shouted
"You'd better be because there's plenty more of where that came from," you giggled.
When you got to the zoo it was busy, very busy. You hadn't told anyone about your anxiety and panic attacks apart from [BF/N]. Part of your anxiety involved busy areas and lifts as it felt like you were trapped and being smothered. So the moment you all walked in she looked at you with concern,
"It's quite busy, will you be alright?" She whispered. You wanted it to be alright, you didn't want your stupid anxiety to ruin your day.
"I should be, as long as I remember to breathe," you giggle, feeling those familiar butterflies in your stomach.
"Why do you need to remember to breathe?" Dan asks,
"To stay alive," you joke, flashing a fake smile to reassure him, he smiles back.
You were following Phil who had spotted the lions when you felt like everybody was too close to you, when you felt you were trapped. You ignored this, staring at Phil's back and making your way towards the lions. You stood in, what seemed like, the too crowded crowd watching the lions, hand in hand with Dan and with [BF/N] on your other side.
You could feel your heart beat picking up and the tightness on your throat, like someone was strangling you. Your lungs felt too small as you struggled to breath.
You close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing, trying to inhale for three and exhale for three or whatever that stupid website said. They are great for telling you how to control a panic attack when your not panicking. You sit there practising thinking 'this is great, I'll be able to control my attack next time' but it's an entirely different story when your in a zoo, in a big crowd, holding hands with a person who by now probably thinks you're insane.
You open your eyes and [BF/N] was looking at you, nodding toward the back of the crowd.
"Dan, I'm going to the toilet, stay near here and I'll find you," you manage to splutter, hoping that he didn't notice your shaking hands.
You needed to sit down somewhere that there wasn't any crowd, and [BF/N] knew that. You felt so guilty, ruining her day by having this stupid attack. You felt guilty for ruining all of her days that you've had those stupid attacks.
You could feel all the children staring at you as you made your way to wherever [BF/N] was leading you.
She pushed you down against a wall. The back of the restaurant. She crouched down by the side of you.
"Don't fight it," she said, "it's fine, don't fight it and wait for it to go,"
You sat there, focusing on your breathing, it was slowing down back to normal now but you couldn't stop shaking.
"Visualise it, give it a colour and a shape," she carried on. She always had a different way to calm you down.
"It's red," you said, feeling like a toddler identifying the colour of an apple. But  [BF/N] nodded, looking into your eyes.
"And what shape is it?" She asked, she knew that talking helps, it distracts you.
"It's a red fist, clutching at my throat," you say.
"Brilliant. Now watch it," she said, her hand on your knee.
You watched as the fist slowly got smaller, turning pink and then gold until it disappeared completely.
"Thanks," you smiled at her trying to find something in your bag. You gave her your purse, "could you get me something to eat please, crisps or something, thanks,"
A few minutes later, [BF/N] came back with a cookie,
"It was the only thing I could find," she said, handing you the cookie,
"Thanks," you said gratefully, taking a small bite from the cookie.
A few minutes later, Dan came hurtling round the corner nearly tripping over your legs, clearly very out of breath.
"Oh thank god," Dan said, pulling out his phone to call Phil. "You said you'd be back and we lost you!" He panted, randomly jabbing at his phone.
It was time to tell him.