Boy next door-Dan x Reader

Surprise :)

Okay okay, you only went and bloody smashed my reads count didn't you? We recently hit 200K reads and I'm going to celebrate that with a small chapter because everyone is pleading for one :)

*Dan's POV*

It has been years since the 'incident', but every night I still wake up reliving the horrors of what happened. And every night I go to sleep deciding how it should've been me, not you. Sure, I couldn't have done anything as Jake had me gagged but I still feel terrible.

The only thing I did was scream before his boot connected with your head. The only thing I could do was stand and watch, as I wasn't strong enough to pull Jake away. I remember standing there, distraught, watching as your blood splattered the wall behind you.

I remember you as you used to be. Your eyes used to crinkle slightly when you smiled so wide. Your eyes used to light up with happiness every time I took you somewhere special. You always used to be so bubbly, always having fun. You were so hardworking, putt my so much effort into your channel.

That's something I really struggle to do now. Phil tries to help me. But it's not the same without you filming by my side. I can't come up with fun content any more. I can't look back on my channel, because I find too much stuff that we filmed together.

I'll never forget the months that I stayed by your side. I lived at the hospital by your bed as you were in that coma. I still can't believe Jake hurt you so much you had to be put into a coma. But then there was that day, the one I dreaded. They told me that day, they told me that they were going to turn the life support off. I couldn't bear it [Y/N]. But I was there when they did it, I was there holding your hand. I was the only one there, the only one that seemed like they cared.

Of course Phil and [BF/N] cared, but they had jobs to be doing so they couldn't be with you all of the time. [BF/N] tried to come when they unplugged the machine, but she broke down on the way and Phil had to take her back to the flat. She was a wreck, we were all wrecks.

I dreaded the day of your funeral too. I didn't want to say goodbye forever, especially in front of members of your family. Your family didn't know how much you meant to me. I didn't get the chance to tell you how much you meant to me, you still mean the world to me.

It's strange living in the flat without you. You added that extra voice to the room, the constant laugh in the corner. You'd always walk into our kitchen door, never learning from your past mistakes, but we'd laugh about that.

I don't like it here without you [Y/N]. I don't feel scared. Jake got put in jail, so don't worry I'm not in danger. But life isn't the same any more, I can't find joy in anything. You were my joy, but all of a sudden you were gone - just like that.

***
HELLO!!!
Bet you weren't expecting to see this notification pop,up on your screen today.
I wrapped up the ending for you guys in celebration of 200K. This is how I saw it ending when I completed the story.

On a slightly happier note, I have started a new Dan X Reader as I was missing writing this one, I have just published it so you can find it on my profile, it's called 'Stronger'
So if you were one of those people wanting more Dan X Reader from me, go read that please :) <<the Britishness is real

Dear Danosaurus__Rex ,
This has been a rollercoaster ride, thanks for making me do it in the first place. I wouldn't be here typing this without you.

Dear Danosaurus__Rex , hannahliz17 and Abby_Flemxns  ,
Thanks for putting up with me last year, constantly asking how many reads you have, and thanks for letting me work out how close you were to your 'goal' constantly - I'm sure it got very annoying for you I'm sorry.

Dear klarapowell ,
Boy you've got a lot of reading to do.

See you on my other story: 'Stronger'
Bethany :)