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FYI #8: Sophia's Letter

"Do you think he would cry w-when I die?" - Sophia (Chapter LXX)

𝟏𝒔𝒕 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝑲𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝑽𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑺𝒐𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒂 𝑺𝒄𝒉𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒘𝒏'𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝟓𝒕𝒉 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝑲𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝟐𝟗𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒊𝒛𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒈'𝒔 𝑨𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒂 𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒓

Dear Sandface,

You fucking asshole! You just had to ruin my night! Everything was going so well. I spent six hours preparing for the Wizard King's Ball—preparing my dress, planning which style I should do, buying the most luxurious beauty products—just so you could see me and praise me! Do you know how fast my heart was racing when I asked you for a dance? How we seem to get lost in the midst of the crowd, as if we were the only ones dancing? How, for an incredible once in a blue moon moment, you actually looked handsome? And when you came after me, all you did was justify how hard it is to be Lord Vangeance's attendant!

Oh wait, I'm just delusional, aren't I? I'm just assuming all this time that you have feelings for me. Silly Sophia, of course he doesn't love you! He loves his work and the Wizard King more than anyone in the world! He only sees you as an annoying little brat. With how you two treat each other, it's hard to imagine the both of you in a relationship.

But fuck, if I could only bring back time and actually confess to you instead of complaining that you're too slow to make a move... If I didn't let my sarcasm hide my true feelings that night in the Château Reverie where we had dinner together. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I HATE MYSELF. Where did my boldness go when I need it the most?

I want you to know Sandface, that if I couldn't confess my love to you in person, then perhaps I'll give this to you—because for the love of God I'm still a hopelessly romantic girl. I want you to know that I hated you. Despised you. But I love you. And you don't fucking know how much, because for the last four years all I could ever think about is you.

I want to take back what I said during kiss, kill, or marry in Raquey. I was still oblivious with my feelings for you back then. I convinced myself that I liked Langris, but perhaps it's only because he resonates with me so much. Plus, that guy is OBSESSED with Solene, my gosh, don't get me started.

I do not know if this letter will be sent to you at all since I am writing this while I'm stationed here in Saussy Village. I have a bad feeling that something is gonna happen, so I'll just write another one tomorrow.

And if you're truly sorry for not checking in on me during the last four years, fucking do it now! Visit me everywhere I go, anytime. I will fight the Wizard King himself just so I can have you.

Yours truly,

Sophia Schmitmore, Frost Queen