Lovesick

-Thirty Eight-

It's been almost two months since Shawn left for tour. He's everywhere, his songs are on the radio, he's on interviews on tv, he's on social medias with all his fans. Shawn seems so happy, meeting fans, singing on stage, making people happy.... it was his dream since he was born. I was proud of him, but I still held a small grudge on the way he left. 

 Shawn hasn't tried to make any contact with me. He hasn't texted me, or called me, nothing. He has not made an effort to save our relationship. At this point, I don't even know if we're still together or not.

Tonight Shawn was coming back to LA to do a tour stop here. Matt got an extra ticket for me. He said I should go with him handsome friends to show him that I've moved on, that I'm happier now. Cameron, as the protective friend that he is, says that I shouldn't go, that I would probably be to heartbroken and hurt to see him. I haven't made my decision on wether to go or not. 

I heard my phone ring. I picked it up and saw that Cameron was calling me on Skype. I answered it, propping my phone up on a pillow as I laid in front of the camera. "Hey Jas." he said. He was laying on his bed as well. I waved. "Have you decided if you're going to the concert?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know if I should go or not." I said, then saw that I was getting a Skype call from Matt. I answered it so all of us were in the same call. Matt was sitting at the desk in his room. "Hey." he said. 

"Hi." Cam and I said. 

"So have you made a decision yet?" Matt asked. I shook my head.

"I haven't moved on yet." I said, "I don' even know if me and him are broken up or dating." I spoke.

"Do you want to be dating him?" Cameron asked. 

I shrugged. "I miss his hugs and kisses and cuddles.... but he slept with me the night he left.... he wouldn't even give me a goodbye kiss." I spoke.

"He's an ass." Cameron said.

"Yea," Matt spoke, "I agree. That's why you should go to the concert with all of your friends and show off how hot and sexy and happy you are." he said. Cameron gave him a death stare, one of the 'are you serious' looks. I giggled. 

"Well if you make a decision to come, text me and I'll come pick you up." Matt said, I nodded then he ended the call, so it was only Cameron and I. "You still love Shawn." he said, "Don't you?"

"I don't know." I spoke.

"I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him...." Cameron said.

"That I still love him?" I asked. 

Cameron nodded then started to explain. "It's the same way your eyes light up when you had a crush on him, or who you would be around him and he would shower you with kisses and when you laugh, that sparkle in your eye." Cam explained. I sighed. "It's up to you to make the decision." Cameron said, "So I'm gonna leave and let you decide." he said, then ended. I put my phone back onto my bedside table then stared at the ceiling of my room.

I stood up and sighed. I walked downstairs then looked around. I sat on the couch and turned on the tv, to be instantly met with people talking about Shawn.

"Shawn Mendes will be back in LA to preform at one of his largest stadiums ever." the lady on the tv screen said, "People are asking about him and his girlfriend Jasmine. Rumor has it that Jasmine is going to the concert to see her boyfriend after two months!" 

"Did you hear about the rumor about Jasmine and Shawn before he left?" The sound man said. 

"Oh yea, the taxi, yikes, she ran home crying?" The lady said, "Yikes what a drama queen am I right??" The lady said. 

"Yea I don't know what he sees in her." The man said. I grabbed the remote then shut the tv off. I grabbed a pillow and threw it against the wall. I took out my phone then texted him.

Jas💁🏼: I don't wanna go to the concert, thanks for the opportunity but I feel like I need to have some more time to myself.... spoil myself a little bit, maybe go shopping or something.

Not soon after I sent the text, I received one back from him.

Mattchu😎: I understand, I hope you have fun.