Lovesick

-Sixty Five-

I was cradling Charlotte as she held onto my finger, babbling like she always does. Shawn was probably in the home office, writing some new songs, like usual. "Who's the cutest girl in the world?" I asked, in a baby voice. "Charlotte is!" I said, followed by tickling her. Charlotte laughed then babbled once again. 

I put her down not the ground, sitting down next to her, and then she started to crawl around. She held onto the edge of the bed then started to stand up on her own. "Charlotte be careful." I spoke. Char let go of the bed and started to walk towards me, giggling. "Oh my god! SHAWN!" I yelled, trying to get him to hear me. "HURRY!!" I yelled. 

Shawn ran into the room, "What's wro- OH MY GOD!" He said, cutting himself off then gasping at the sight of Charlotte walking towards me. Charlotte walked all the way over to me and then sat on my lap. Shawn and I cheered as she got to me and then Char cheered as well, clapping her hands. I kissed the top of her head and said, "Good job Char!" I looked up to see Shawn recording us with his phone. He ended the video, shutting his phone off and walked over to us. He put his phone in his back pocket before picking up Charlotte and spinning her around in a circle. "YAAAYYYY!" She cheered, causing us to laugh. "Char char walk!" She said, causing Shawn and I to laugh. 

As Shawn slowed down, Char yawned. "Is Char Char tired?" shawn said to her in a baby voice. Char nodded, rubbing her eyes with her small fists. "I got her." I said as I took her from Shawn's arms and cradled her. Shawn kissed my temple, thanking me before he went downstairs, back into our home office. 

I walked to the nursery and then put Charlotte in her crib. I kissed her good night before turning on her night light which put stars and a moon on the ceiling. I covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold and put her favorite toy, a stuffed pig, next to her, which she instantly wrapped her arms around in her sleep. I smiled before I left the nursery, closing the door quietly behind me. I walked downstairs to the home office and found Shawn sitting on the little couch in there, beside the desk, with a guitar in his hands, singing. He looked up at me and smiled wide as he saw me. "Hey." He said, smiling wide. 

"Hello." I said as I walked over to him and sat down next to him. Shawn put the guitar down next to him then I said, "nonono, don't let me stop you." I spoke.

"It's fine." He said as he put his arm around me. I smiled wide and put my head on his shoulder then he kissed the top of my head. "I'm so glad I married such a perfect woman like you." He spoke, causing me to blush severely. 

"Tomorrow is already our 2 month anniversary." I spoke. 

Shawn started to shake his leg, up and down, as if he were a bit nervous. "Oh right." Shawn said, as if I just reminded him "I mean it's only two months." he said. 

I looked up at him then said, "Only two months?" i asked. 

"yea. two months, it isn't like a year or something." he spoke, scoffing. I took his arm and took it off of me then said, "So if I'm clean for two months it's just nothing?" I spoke, standing up. "That if I'm clean for two months it's nothing but if I'm clean for a year it's good?" I asked.

"That's a different story." He spoke.

"Oh really?" I spoke. "So when you date a girl for two months you throw a big diner for her but if your married for two months it's nothing?" I asked. 

"Babe." he spoke. 

"It's fine..." i spoke then took a breath. "It's nothing." He said. 

"Cmon Jasmine." he said, "You know I love you." he spoke. 

I know I was being hard on him, but these small things matter to me. Especially because of my depression and anxiety. I never even knew I would get to the time where I would be married to someone for 2 whole months.