Lovesick

-Fifty Nine-

A/N: The photo in the media is the final wedding dress for Jasmine with all the alterations and added on things.

"What about seashells on a stick or something?" Shawn said.

"What???" I asked him.

"You said you wanted a beach wedding and you didn't want flowers as our centerpiece so I was thinking seashells." he explained his thoughts.

"But on a stick? That just sounds stupid."

"Oh so your cream cotton napkins instead of white, which is gonna cost us $300 more than white ones, isn't stupid?" he asked, raising his voice.

"No." I spoke, standing up. "They aren't okay? They aren't stupid, the cream will give it-" I managed to say before Shawn cut me off.

"More character and will match the sand at the beach." He said, mocking my voice.

"You know what?" I asked.

"WHAT!" He raised his voice even louder, practically yelling.

"MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T EVEN PLAN MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE A WEDDING!" I yelled at him. "IT'S ALL STUPID AM I RIGHT?!?!?" I yelled.

"MAYBE IT IS ALL STUPID OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST MY IDEAS AND YOUR IDEAS ARE JUST THE BEST ONES IN THE WORLD!" Shawn yelled then we heard Charlotte's cries over the baby monitor. I took a deep breath then walked away. I walked upstairs and into Char's room. I picked her up from her crib and rocked her back and forth. "Sorry baby girl did you hear us yelling?" I asked. She calmed down and I walked downstairs. I walked into the living room and put Char in her little play area that was safely secured with little walls so she wouldn't wander off.

I looked out the window and saw a sight that I wasn't expecting.... Shawn smoking a cigarette. I stormed to the back sliding door and opened i. "What are you doing." I spoke.

"What?" he asked, throwing the cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it. I looked down to see not one, but multiple cigarettes. I don't smoke so, it had to be from him. "Have you been smoking?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Yea, so what?" he spoke.

"Shawn." I spoke, feeling pain in my heart.

"What." he snapped as he looked over at me, walking over so he was looking down at me. I could smell the fumes of the cigarette on him.

"Why?" I asked, "Every time you inhale those little sticks you're inhaling poison." I spoke, putting my hand on his arm. He stepped back a few steps so I couldn't put my hand on him. "Do you want lung cancer??" I asked. "do you want to die?" I asked, my voice breaking. Shawn looked at me then walked inside. I teared up, looking down at all the cigarettes on the ground. There wasn't a ton but there were a few. I walked inside and looked around.

I walked over to Char and picked her up. I put her in my arms and kissed the top of her head, cradling her in my arms. "I just do it when I'm stressed." I heard his voice say after a few minutes. I put Char in her little play area once again then stood up and turned around to see Shawn staring down at his feet, leaning against the door frame.

"but you're always stressed." I spoke. "With work, and me, and the wedding, Charlotte, your manager, the planning.... everything." I said. Shawn just stood there, staring down at his feet. "I don't want to loose you." I spoke, "But you seem like you want to go..... like.... you want to leave me." I spoke. He just stood there, not moving a muscle, not even looking at me. "Oh." I spoke. I took a deep breath. I picked up Charlotte and walked over to the stairs. "i'll be upstairs if you need me... you probably won't" I spoke as I walked upstairs. I walked into Shawn and my room and then looked around. "Let's go into your room actually." I spoke. I walked out of Shawn and my room and into Char's. I sat on the big cushioned rocking chair and said, "It's okay Char.... Momma's here." I spoke as I cradled her in my arms. "And I'm not going anywhere, no matter what." I spoke, putting my head on top of hers.

"What are you doing Shawn..." I talked to myself. "Why are you doing this?"