Feather AKA @Featherfrost_ writing!
Bumblestar: Hey there! :D :D :D :D
Briarlight: *drag-walks in* Hey Bumblestar, how will you kill my annoying mother on this fine afternoon?
Millie: *bursts in covered in sweat and panting heavily* BUMBLESTAR WHERE IS MY BRIARBABY SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO GET A POPTART BUT THEN SHE DIDN'T COME BACK AFTER 0.0000000000000000000000000001 SECONDS I THINK SHE'S DEAD.
Briarlight: *facepaw* Millie, I'm right here.
Millie: Oh, thank StarClan! *rushes over and starts grooming her furiously while Briarlight makes constipated-looking faces*
Bumblestar: Moving on... *looks at camera guy* Today we'll eliminate Millie by doing death by the Hunger Games. *smirks and rubs paws together evilly*
Camera Guy: Shall I fetch the other tributes?
Bumblestar: Indeed you shall.
A short while later...
Bumblestar: Hello and welcome to the first lake Hunger Games! *croud cheers wildly*
From District One, AKA ThunderClan, our contestants are Millie and Firestar even though he's dead! From District Two, also being ThunderClan, we have Briarlight and Blossomfall!
Cloudtail: *from crowd* But there's supposed to be a tom and a she-cat from each district, not two she-cats!
Bumblestar: *fires fully loaded gun that came out of thin air* I don't care, this is how the Games will happen. *adjusts bowtie and looks at camera* Now the other tributes are from the other Clans and are loners, rogues, and kittypets, but no one actually cares about them.
The tributes arise from the ground and into the arena on the pedestals, terrified and looking around wildly. A timer counts down from sixty and Briarlight and Blossomfall tap their feet impatiently. Blossomfall trips and falls, killed by a landmine.
Millie: *shrugs indifferently* She was my least favorite kit anyway.
Briarlight looses her balance for a half second.
Millie: BRIARLIGHT NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU... *desperately leaps at Briarlight who is across the arena* ...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...*doesn't make it and lands on the grass, where a landmine goes off* ...UUU-- *BAM*
Bumblestar: Well that went faster than I expected... *shrugs* Oh well, at least Millie is dead.
You likey? Here I am, bringing you my first ever published spoof. Now I know I'm not as good as Frost or Rio, but I didn't do too horribly, right?
*cricket*
*cricket*
*cricket*
Okay then...
YOU ARE READING
101 Ways To Kill A Cat
RandomLet Bumblestar show you how. A/N: Do not do this to cats you may happen to know. This book is just a spoof and a joke. In fact, don't do this to anybody. Except for Frost. You can do it to Frost, because nobody cares about Frost and whether she liv...
