Bumblestar: Hello everyone, and welcome to this episode of 101 Ways to Kill a Cat! This episode, we actually don't know what we're doing so we're just going to go along with it.
Brambleclaw: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! *Flips table*
Jayfeather: *Runs up to them, breathing heavily* I'm here, what's the emergency?
Bumblestar: Jayfeather! So glad you could make it.
Jayfeather: ...I hate you both.
Bumblestar: So for today's episode, I brought a friend of ours to star on the show!
Brambleclaw: Really? :D
Bumblestar: Yes. But unfortunately she failed. And died.
Jayfeather: Can I go home now-
Bumblestar: So of course you ask; what will your handsome, intelligent leader do to resolve this situation?
Brambleclaw: *Gasps*
Jayfeather: I just want to bake some cookies-
Bumblestar: *Grabs Jayfeather* BUT I HAVE COME UP WITH A PLAN!
Jayfeather: *Distressed screech*
Bumblestar: So I brought a new special guest! Everyone meet-
Hollyleaf: *Throws smoke grenade and runs into the clearing* GUYS THE VILLAGERS ARE REBELLING
Sandstorm: *Charges at her with a pitchfork*
Bumblestar: I WAS NOT EXPECTING ANY OF THIS
Firestar: SIEZE THE INFIDEL
*Squirrelflight tackles Sandstorm to the ground*
Firestar: LONG LIVE THE KING
Sandstorm: YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES
Jayfeather: *Quietly tries to sneak away*
Brambleclaw: *Making random panicked noises*
Millie: GUYS I CAN CAST MAGIC SPELLS NOW *Falls over*
*Giant explosion of glitter*
Brambleclaw: *Rubs head* Ugh, what did you idiots - there appears to be a problem.
Jayfeather: What?
Brambleclaw: I appear to be able to see.
Jayfeather: ...I'm blind.
Brambleclaw: ...
Jayfeather: ...COOL!
Millie: What's going on now? What happened?
Bumblestar: GUYS I MADE US ALL SWITCH BODIES ISN'T THIS COOL?
Brambleclaw: *Sighs* I'll get some name tags...
Millie: I-I'm Millie. Kill me now.
Sandstorm: *Waves pitchfork around*
Brambleclaw: OKAY WHO'S WHO?
Jayfeather: I'm Brambleclaw!
Millie: *Staring at the sky in shock*
Brambleclaw: *Writes "Bumblestar" on a name tag and sticks it to his face*
Millie: I feel... so empty...
Sandstorm: *Shakes Bumblestar* CHANGE US BACK!
Hollyleaf: I AM THE NIGHT
Squirrelflight: DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME
Firestar: *Grabs pitchfork from Sandstorm*
Brambleclaw: I'm Jayfeather, Jayfeather is Brambelclaw, Millie is Bumblestar, Bumblestar is Millie, Hollyleaf is Squirrelflight, Squirrelflight is Hollyleaf, Firestar is Sandstorm, and Sandstorm is Firestar.
Bumblestar: *Dies from confusion*
Millie: I don't know how I feel about this.
Bumblestar: *Respawns* LET'S BAKE A CAKE
Millie: Terrified. I feel terrified about this.
Jayfeather: If we kill Bumblestar, but Bumblestar is Millie, did we kill Millie or Bumblestar?
Bumblestar: *Dies from confusion*
Jayfeather: Let's kill both, just to be sure.
Millie: Wait what?
Firestar: *Stabs Millie with pitchfork*
Squirrelflight: THIS IS MADNESS
Hollyleaf: I AM BATMAN
Sandstorm: YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST
*Hoard of cats in banana suits with pitchforks and torches run towards them*
Squirrelflight: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SANDSTORM
Firestar: I TOLD YOU BINGO NIGHT WAS A BAD IDEA
*Camera falls over sideways*
*Muffled chanting of the word "Potassium"*
*Glitter explosion*
*Screen goes dark*
A/N: This is the second stupidest thing I've done today.
~Frost
YOU ARE READING
101 Ways To Kill A Cat
RandomLet Bumblestar show you how. A/N: Do not do this to cats you may happen to know. This book is just a spoof and a joke. In fact, don't do this to anybody. Except for Frost. You can do it to Frost, because nobody cares about Frost and whether she liv...
