Bumblestar: Hello, and welcome to 101 ways to kill a cat! I'm your host, Bumblestar. And yeah, I don't really have a plan. I'm going to improvise.
Jayfeather: *snorts* The author of the chapter has clearly written too many I May or May Not chapters.
Brambleclaw: they've written too much in general. i'm sure everyone is super sick of their writing.
Bumblestar: We probably shouldn't hate on the author, who controls our every move...
Jayfeather: Then isn't she hating on herself...?
Bumblestar: ...OH YEAH! That makes sense.
Mysterious Director: You should really start the killing...your salary is decreasing steadily.
Bumblestar: Right! Right! Bring in the Briarlight!
Briarlight walks in.
Briarlight: Sup bro. You know, you're not bringing me in. I come here willingly. Millie is irritating :/
Tigerheart: PREACH
Bumblestar: What are you doing here?!
Tigerheart: ..... *runs*
Bumblestar: Anyway, as I was saying, we're going to call Millie! Briarlight, the call!
Briarlight: *presses play on a recording on her phone* h-h-help!
Millie: OMG BRIARLIGHT WHAT IS IT MOMMY IS HERE
Bumblestar: *coughs violently* arghh chaough aosufnxc i'm choking soijnoc
Jayfeather: According to my medicine cat skills, Bumblestar is suffering from Millieitis, a disease that causes violent chocking and vomiting at any signs of affection by Millie.
Millie: JAYFEATHER IS SHE ALRIGHT
Jayfeather: ....your son is dying.
Millie: OMG I DON'T CARE BUT WHAT ABOUT BRIAR-BABY????!!!
Jayfeather: .......she's actually dead. That breathing and talking is actually just in your head.
Millie: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breath*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *dies*
Bumblestar: Yay...?
ember, obviously
YOU ARE READING
101 Ways To Kill A Cat
RandomLet Bumblestar show you how. A/N: Do not do this to cats you may happen to know. This book is just a spoof and a joke. In fact, don't do this to anybody. Except for Frost. You can do it to Frost, because nobody cares about Frost and whether she liv...
