101 Ways To Kill A Cat

Episode Sixty

Bumblestar: Welcome to 101 Ways to Kill A Cat! Today, our murderous special guest is back.

Crazystar: Murder? Nah, it's like I told the cops, he fell on the knife.

Bumblestar: ...well, that's nice.

Crazystar: Fifty-five times.

Bumblestar: ...

Crazystar: *pulls out blood-stained dagger and smiles* And the other guy, he shot himself fifteen times.

Bumblestar: I highly doubt that. So you lied to the police?

Crazystar: I didn't lie, I just over-exaggerated some parts of the story!

Bumblestar: ... ... Let's just get on with the show. So audience, Crazystar is here to help me kill Millie, probably in some awful way.

Crazystar: *casually drags a chair out onto the stage and pulls out a rope*

Bumblestar: You're killing her with a chair?

Crazystar: Just wait for my master plan to be unveiled.

Bumblestar: ...Okay.

Crazystar: Hey, Millie! Briarlight asked if you could stand on this chair for a few minutes and tie one end of this rope around your neck! Would you mind doing that for me?

Millie: OH YES OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR MY PRECIOUS BRIARLIGHT I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR MY ONLY KIT! *leaps up onto chair and quickly fastens rope around her neck*

Crazystar: Now just stand here while I tie the other end of the rope to this ceiling beam!

Millie: I'll stay here as long as Briarlight wants me to!

Crazystar: *ties rope to ceiling beam*

Millie: What now?

Crazystar: *kicks chair out from under her*

*Millie's eyes bulge as she chokes and falls, and then her body goes limp as her neck snaps when the noose stops her momentum*

Crazystar: That was so cool!!!!! *slicing wildly at the dead Millie's throat with her knife while cackling maniacally*

*Police rush into the building*

Crazystar: *hides knife in her back pocket* Oh, hi officers! This poor cat just went insane I don't know what happened!

Officer: Why has she been hanged and why does she have so many cuts on her neck?

Crazystar: She tried to use that rope as a necklace! And then she sliced a knife across her neck twenty-three times!

Officer: Why do you have blood all over your hands?

Crazystar: I felt sorry for her so I gave her a nice big hug after she died!

Officer: Seems legit.

Bumblestar: Well....I guess that concludes this episode of 101 Ways to Kill A Cat...I think that Crazystar officially has problems...

A/N: Written by Crazystar. The over-exaggerating comment was mocking my new least favorite athlete Ryan Lochte, who has reached a level of low that cannot be described sufficiently by any words in the English language. On behalf of all Americans, I'd just like to say, we do not approve of his behavior and we all hate him over here too, most of us would never do anything like that. On behalf of America to Rio, we're sorry about that immature jerk. I hope he's banned from Olympic swimming forever. Anyhow, I'm going on a tirade, but I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter <3