20 April 2016
Dear diary,
The more I chat with Hansol, the more I find him... despicable. I try to get over him, but it takes one look to get hooked back into the addictive feeling he gives me. I hate it. I hate the fact it's hard for me to get over such a horrible guy like him.
I suffer from a little depression these days. It's not big enough to make me think of horrible thoughts such as cutting myself (believe me, I wouldn't even try because I'm scared of physical pain and blood) but it's effective enough for me to change my LINE statuses into something deep.
I'm trying my hardest. I'm eating more mandus to help me. Always trust mandus to help you feel better because they're just so delicious and helpful to calm my mental state. But every time I go back to LINE to chat with Sungcheol and my friends, Hansol texts me again and I try to end the conversation as quickly as I can.
S.Coup.seu: dohui, r u ok?
Sungcheol texted me that one time, but in my opinion, he shouldn't be asking. He should be the one asking himself that. But I knew he already knew that he wasn't okay. I wanted to help him. I knew we wanted to help each other but we're just so hesitant about talking about our feelings so I knew we just couldn't talk about it.
I want to be okay. I want to smile again but because of Hansol, it's hard to conjure up a big smile and show everybody. I do believe that I will be able to smile like I always did before I fell into this stupid trap called love.
Love,
Mandu
(Baek Dohui)
~Author's Notes~
I honestly just want to post all the chapters at once to end this book but then I should just take it slow, right?
xoxo
Byun Sang Kyung
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Mandu
FanfictionA diary of a girl whose nickname is Mandu. Indulge into her world as she tries to live it the way she wants it. Though we all know life has their own plans on how you'll live your life. And it's not every time it'll come in a pretty package. · A...
