Diary of a Mandu

freedom

30 September 2016

Dear diary,

Hellooooo! Diary, I've been busy. With what? With watching dramas, EEEE!! You know what, diary? Kang Chul is my boyfriend! Okay, I only can wish but seriously! How can Lee Jongsuk be such a handsome guy? And what do I look like? Some weird potato that even the chips company don't want to use me to make chips. Okay, I'm harsh on myself but it's true!

What's with the change of attitude? I don't know. Ever since I finally got over Jun (he likes this girl now, I don't know who but I'm assuming it's the girl that likes him. You know, my friend's friend's? Yeah, probably her. I know he rejected her but he might have gained feeling for her or maybe it's the senior he's close with), I drowned myself in dramas and those dramas just make me so happy. Especially Cinderella and The Four Knights because Jungshin oppa is there! He's so handsome and Park Sodam unnie is so cute! I want to be cute like her too but... T^T

This has proven that it's true when they say people come and go, as well as the feelings they take with you. These days, I don't really text him. It's usually me who starts off the conversation or texts first and since I'm not doing it, we're not texting at all. After all, I have better things to do other than deal with him.

When I told Nayeon and Sojin about it, she said that it was for the best and even cheered me on for being brave enough to confess and Sojin said he was a jerk. I totally agree but I said I don't even bother anymore. Baekhee said, "Well damn" and even asked me about my "powers". She said that I had this power to somehow eliminate those past admires in my life. Like Hansol and Jihoon. Jihoon moved back to Busan and is probably enjoying his life there and Hansol... I barely see him around but the times when I do see him, I realize he's still acting all arrogant and everything. Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in him.

Through the hard and long lasting moments of Pineapple, I was able to learn the painful type of love. Because the love I've been through, I bet they were all just puppy love. I now know that love isn't as easy as they seem and now even some lyrics can describe what I felt.

When it comes to love, you love and you stop. It sounds scary. Painful, even. But that's just how it goes. You love until you don't. It's painful, but it's because it's for the best. Everyone is made for someone out there and what's so fun about meeting that someone from the very start of life? We need fun and memories. Though we don't like bad memories, it's best to have them. Why? Because it's to prevent you from making the same mistakes over and over. It's like a lesson. A warning to tell you not to step in the same trap again.

Though I don't consider Pineapple as some kind of horrible trap I got myself into, I still regarded it as something similar. It wasn't a trap, it was an obstacle. It was some kind of test or maybe a painful reminder. I'm in a new school after all. Back in Chundak, I would, of course, have bad memories. I guess this was the way. I had to have the good and the bad memories no matter where I go. In fact, everyone had to.

I like to think about the bad and the good as something that would keep us neutral and normal. Without the good, people would suffer a sad life. Without the bad, people would be very vulnerable. It's to keep us norm.

It was a short time, Jun and I. In that short moment, at least I can say that we were each other's happiness. We were also the cause of each other's sadness but that was only because we were never meant to be in the first place. But at least I was able to catch his heart, to make his heart race and him to me. It was short, but it was memorable in both a good and bad way. It'll always roam around in my head and once in a while, I'll probably remember the memories and times we've shared. The phone call. The texts. The talks. In a short time, a lot of things had happened between the both of us. And I know one day, I'll be able to think back about these memories and actually smile instead of wishing it never happened. And by then, I'll know, it was never meant to be in the first place.

THE END.

~Author's Notes~

Yes, things that has happened in this story are actually true. Woah, shocking, ain't it? I went through a lot because of "Yoongi" (let's nickname him Yoongi) and it was hard on me. As you read in this story, Jun was a complicated and confusing mess. So was Yoongi. Also Baek Dohui. Okay, I based Jun's personality on Yoongi so sorry if he wasn't anything like boyfriend material 😂 Also, Vernon's personality here was also based on a real person whom I've dealt with before.

If there are any more question, do leave it in the comments! I'll be willing to answer them either by replying to your comment or explaining it in a next chapter. Whichever I decided to do, hehe.

Thank you for reading up to this very point! :) I'm thankful for all the votes and comments you wonderful Kimichies have left all throughout the book! <3 You guys are amazing! Until the next book, I hope? :)