Diary of a Mandu

일기 #41

7 June 2016

Dear diary,

I think I lowkey like Jun. But I'm forcing myself not to because he's not like how he used to me, so I believe he really has moved on. I'm trying my best to stop, to get these irrelevant thoughts out of my head but it's starting. Though, I hope, since it's only lowkey, it'll stay lowkey.

I talked about it with Sua once again and she's frustrated by me because my feelings only came now. As in, only now do I feel the feelings. I'm apparently a little too late, as everyone says it. Baekhee and Jennie knows about it too, as well as Sojin and Seungkwan. I like hearing different opinions from different people but... I don't know. Like I said, my perspective of Pineapple keeps changing that it also gets frustrating.

So obviously, right now, I have two choices. Either I end these lowkey feelings for him or actually exert effort to bring back whatever I lost in the first place and probably test the possibilities of him still liking me or even... dating.

Dating itself is something I'm never committed to. But you know what? Change can happen. It can happen to anyone. No matter how frustrating and stubborn Jun can be, I believe I'll be able to change him and maybe he'll do the same to me.

I see I have made myself clear. My goal is now clear. I know what I'm supposed to do. You'll never know it's over unless you tried your best, until you exert all your efforts into it. That's what you must do before you completely end whatever has started. Give it your best.

Okay, Dohui. Now you know what to do. Do this without regrets.

Love,
Mandu
(Baek Dohui)

~Author's Notes~ 

This story may or may not be based on a true story. 

Thanks for 1.1K views! The Kimichie fandom is amazing~ <3

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung