Aviation| A Milex Fanfiction

42. Do I wanna know

A\N: So this one is basically just jammed full of my two favorite things FLUFF AND ANGST YAAAAAY. Next chapter will be the last of the vignette style chapter  dealing with the studio. I was going to combine them but this ended up coming out way longer than I initially thought it would. Hope you all like it, let me know what you think. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, YOU'RE ALL SPECTACULAR AND MADE OF PIXIE DUST AND RAINBOWS <3333

   Miles had thought after that first morning in the studio things were finally alright with him and Alex again. They'd returned to their normal habits. Their existences entwined together by their laughter and constant need for companionship. Lest one let the other feel the deathly pangs of loneliness that crept in like a thief, stealing the content glow from their hearts and the smiles from their faces whenever they were apart. They were once again conjoined spending most of their waking hour's side by side and their nights asleep nestled safely in each other's warm embrace.

Miles thought he'd managed to salvage the relationship he'd almost wrecked with his hateful slander the week previous. If Alex had truly walked away from him after that he wasn't sure what he'd have done. The mere idea of having lost the single most important person in his life due to his own actions sent cold shivers down his spine. If his life had been a TV series it would likely be pulled from the air if Alex left the cast. There would be no plot left without everyone's favorite protagonist. Not to say that it would have been a repeat of Paris. Miles felt foolish for ever implying to Alex that him leaving would mean inevitable death. Miles had grown enough to know that it wouldn't. Not in any literal sense anyways. He'd have remained breathing, his heart still pumping blood through his veins, but he wouldn't have been alive. He'd simply have remained present as a walking catatonic shell until he eventually slipped away of some other cause or the ray of sunshine that made him whole came back from whatever cloud he hid behind.

But Alex hadn't left him! A fact that Miles counted his blessings for. From the time he woke up in the morning to a face covered by bedhead and a light dusting of stubble pressed into the crook of his neck. Until they muttered their last I love yous before turning out the light in the evening. Miles was indeed thankful for those moments and all the ones in between. He made more of an effort to show how deep the trenches of his affection were dug in. Most of the things he did were hardly noticeable if you weren't looking to catch them. No one else would notice, but Alex did and that was what mattered. It was in the little things like the way he caressed his face in the early morning gently wiping the sleep from his eyes and allowing his tired lover to kiss his palm all the while begging for another five minutes of rest. It was in the way he'd look for any excuse to plant a kiss on his lips, or touch his skin, or whisper inside jokes and other sweet nothings against the shell of his ear causing the monkey to giggle and blush. If there wasn't a guitar in one of their hands Miles would reach out and take Alex's in his own, inter clasping their fingers and moving to sit closer so their thighs would brush together. It was how he soothingly strokes the smaller boys hair as his face pressed against his shoulder, teeth gritted while Miles cleaned his wound before bed. Miles would run to the moon and back twice if it would prove how much he loved that mess of chestnut hair and freckled skin.

Still, somehow there was something absent in Alex now. It wasn't anything tangible, not something that Miles could put a finger on anyways. It was simply a feeling. Something felt off, and Miles couldn't help assuming it was because of how he'd hurt Alex with both his words and actions. He hadn't lost him, he'd just lost something in him. One afternoon while Miles had been recording one of his guitar parts Alex had slipped out into the yard to call Alexa. Once they'd finished Miles had gone join him. He found Alex sitting in the long green grass plucking idly at several blades.

" I know he loves me. That's not the problem 'Lexa." Miles stands back listening to one side of the conversation. It's probably not the best idea given his recent track record for misinterpreting things he's overheard." Yeah, of course, I do. More than anything. What sort of question is that?!" His tone rose an octave at whatever question Alexa had asked him. Whatever it was must have seemed absolutely incredulous to him.