Aviation| A Milex Fanfiction

58. Standing Next to Me

 The next morning Miles feels absolutely sick when he wakes up and it has nothing to do with the amount he drank the night before. It's all nerves. He stood inspecting himself in the bathroom mirror his hair hallway from the day before. There was a good bit of stubble on his face but it was trimmed with clean lines so he didn't feel the need to shave it off. It had been a while since he'd seen himself clean shaven. He'd come to the decision that since shaving his head a clear face made him look too boyish. That and he knew that Alex loved the tickle against his skin from his facial hair. The other man might complain if he shaved it off entirely.

Although he'd manage to get a small amount of sleep the night before he felt tired. There were dark circles under his eyes that he'd have to remember to put some concealer on... maybe he could borrow some from Alexa. He needed to cover up the fact that he was nervous which would take a miracle to pull off. His hands were already shaking where the clutched the sides of the sink.

" Miles, you alright?" Alexa asked, knocking on the door from the other side.

"Fine... I'll be out in a minute." He said taking a few deep breaths and doing his best to compose himself. He wanted to go and talk to Alex. Sure he would see him as soon as he came back from talking to Mr.Mazzeo, but he wanted to see him before he went. Seeing Alex might be able to wipe away some of his current anxiety but for now, it just wasn't possible. He would have to wait a few more hours.

"You look like you haven't slept a wink," Alexa commented as Miles stepped out of the bathroom.

"I probably only got an hour or two." Miles sighed. He walked over to his suitcase and pulled out his white button up and put it on. Concealing his ring under it. " Can I borrow something to put under me eyes, they look awful."

"Need me to do your makeup before your big meeting with the boss?" Alexa joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes darling, make me gorgeous," Miles said faking a smile as Alexa walked into the other room to get her makeup case. Before she can start to apply any to him she noticed that Miles' eyes are glazed over with tears which started to run down his face in a matter of seconds. "Alexa, I'm scared." He confessed in little more than a whisper. Alexa sighed and pulled Miles into a tight hug.

"I know you are Mi. We all are..."She sighed.

"What if I go in there this morning... what if I walk into his office and I don't come out? What if we have our plan, but they already have their own? How do we know that someone hasn't betrayed us?" Miles listed off the hypotheticals currently running through his mind. "What if I'm the first one to talk to him today, not because of my significance to Alex, but so they can clean my blood off the floor before anyone else comes around? What if I'm literally walking into my death and I don't even know it yet? I've got no way to protect myself." Miles said clutching on to Alexa. She's never seen Miles so genuinely petrified in his life.

"That's not going to happen, Miles. Everything is going to be just fine." Alexa tried to assure him as she rubs his back.

"I... I know. I hope you're right but there's nothing quite like knowing that you're about to swim into shark infested waters alone." Miles sighed. He reached over to his bag and pulled out an Envelope with Alex's name on it. "If anything happens to me promise that you'll give this to him, ok?"

"Miles it won't come to that," Alexa said.

"But if it does I need Alex to have this... it's a letter for him and there's also some instructions. Things that go to him, things that go to my mum, all of those arrangements. We'd talked a while about both of us having a living will in case anything happened to us. That wasn't just thinking about today but... with a child on the way it's something we should probably have right? Make sure our ducks are all in a row even if something like a car accident happened or if one of us got sick. We're getting older after all." Miles sighed. "So just in case, this is mine and... the other thing with it is just a letter for him. You know... tell him that I loved him and all."