Life of Libby nelson

Chapter 66

I probably looked dreadful, my tanned face was as white as snow and my whole body was going skimpy and I didn't care about much. It's been a week since I found out about my babies and I've gone down hill rapidly and I know I have, I was letting myself go and didn't care one bit.

I layed on my bed not knowing what to do with myself, I hated everything and everyone at the moment, nothing anyone said or anything I did was making this better, I'm struggling to take in I have to carry them both too, that's probably the most hardest part about it. 'Beth, I'm going to work now' Anna said popping her head round the door but I just stayed tucked up on my bed 'if you need anything, and I mean absolutely anything you call me, I'm sorry I have to leave you' she said but I didn't mind she'd been off all week with me, she needed to go back at some point, she showed up at my bedside and bent down, kissed my forehead and got back up 'I'll be back before you know it, I'm due home at 2' she said leaving and tears just dripped 'I hate to leave you. I love you' she said 'I love you' I whispered and she left, like I said I was fine with her going she needed to earn a living and she'd been by my side for the last week. Nick was away filming again so we wouldn't see him for another 6 weeks, I'd be 27 weeks pregnant then and probably still in the same state as I am now, Lawson, well he had to go back to work 3 days after coming home because we clashed, we never got on much and I think it was hurting us both being together at such a hard time which you'd think it would help being together, he said we need to look at it from baby A prospective and because she's healthy we need to move on and think of her, but I don't want to move on I want both my babies I'm aloud to hurt. I haven't spoken to him since, he'll come round, we both will, we always do. I looked around the room and it was just so dull, quiet and boring this wasn't me at all. Anna had been gone 25 minutes and the doorbell went, I dragged myself up and down the stairs, I didn't want to but I needed to Anna was waiting on important parcels for work so it could be them, I peered open a bit 'hi I have a parcel for a Miss E Sanderson' he said 'that's me' I said quietly and he gave me the little device to signature and then went and got two big boxes and brought them in for me, I shut the door quickly and carried the first one up stairs and came back for the second, they were quite light if I was honest but for the life of me couldn't think of what I'd ordered. I sat on my bedroom floor and opened one box, inside was a light grey next to me cot and inside the other was a matching for the other side of my bed, it set me off crying again because now we only needed the one, I didn't order these though, I remember sending Lawson a picture weeks ago so it must have been him sneakily, my heart hurt. After staring at the two next to me cribs for ages and crying myself silly I needed air, fresh air something I'd not seen in a week. I'd even missed my check up because I couldn't face the world. But now I couldn't face myself, I needed to go, get out, I needed to escape.

I wandered aimlessly around Liverpool town centre again like I have been since I left a few hours ago, i was receiving funny looks and I don't know if it's because of the way I look or because of who I am, yeah my long curly hair was just shoved on top of my head, I had normal clothes on the only thing I could think of was my face or they know that I have one alive child and one dead one inside of me. I looked around in a circle, passers by were just staring, I gulped and the pain washed over me my heart was heavy beating and I could feel the panic flying over me. A hand on my shoulder made me jump, I turned around to see my bestfriend Lucy from school 'come here' she said pulling me in.

ANNA'S P.O.V.

I arrived home at exactly 2pm, the house was very quiet, it had been quiet all week which upset me because it's usually very lively. 'Ellie' I shouted up the stairs, that poor girl has so many nicknames she must be confused, I made my way up and down to her room, her bedroom looked dull like it hadn't all week, I expected her to be in the same position as this morning, I walked in and it was empty bar two cribs on the floor hanging out their boxes, I opened her curtains and her window a little bit to let some air in and then left shouting her name and looking in every room I came across but she was wasn't there. I thought about calling Nikki but they weren't talking and I know she's her mum but she'd never forgive me if I got Nikki to find her. 'Kirsty' I asked 'yes' she said 'you seen Beth or heard off her' I asked panicking 'nope she won't answer me' she said 'great' I said quietly 'Anna..is everything ok' she asked 'she's gone missing' I said with a whispering tone 'right I'll go look, I'll leave work I'll get a few guys to help' she said 'thank you so much' I sighed 'have you told nik' she asked and I rolled my eyes 'no' I said 'I'll tell her now' she said and I just thanked her and even though I didn't want to I knew I had to, I had to get in touch with little mix ladies just in case.