Life of Libby nelson

Chapter 64

'You can't hide in there forever, come on Elizabeth we can talk I'm not angry you don't need to shut yourself away' Anna said through my bedroom door. I'd been hiding myself away since my birthday 4 days ago, I didn't have to go to work until today so I had to come out and face the world today whether I liked it or not plus I couldn't even phone in sick because Anna would tell and we get our new scripts today. 'I'll leave you too it, just know you don't have to wait till me or your dad are out to come out' Anna said and then I heard her walk away. I looked at my phone we both had work at 10 and it was now 9:30am and I knew I'd have to go down and face Anna any moment now.
I took a deep breath and left my bedroom, my knees were weak and my heart was racing and I had no idea why, I mean it's not the end of the world is it, a baby that's all it is I mean I don't even know if I am with child but we all know I will be because I just haven't had a period yet and I feel so nauseous most of the time. Lawson knew, he was older than me by 2 years I was 17 on July 10th and he's coming up 19 on the July 16th so 2 days and he's so chill about it he's willing to give the whole family thing a go, but I'm not I'm just a baby myself. I went downstairs and breathed in a big breath of air and then released it when I got to the sitting area door and noticed no one was in here, just act normal I told myself, as if nothing is happening, I was wearing my grey jogger jumpsuit that was off the shoulders and had rips in the knees, my usual curly fro was straight and I had my velvet baby pink cap on with my usual full face of makeup and plumped lips and on my feet I had all white superstars, I had bellyache but it was more of a cramp I've had for a few hours but it's just nerves. I walked into the kitchen as if nothing was wrong 'is this mine' I asked referring to the toast and juice 'yes' Anna said putting the pots away from her breakfast, I took a bite of toast and a gulp of juice 'thank you' I said 'it's okay' she smiled turning round as I took another bite 'so' she said and I got up as quick as I could and ran to the downstairs bathroom to be sick 'has this been happening a lot' she asked approaching me in the doorway of the bathroom 'it started a few weeks back but I just put it down to stress with everything that's going on, I didn't think I could be pregnant or anything like that' I said rinsing my mouth out 'anything else happening' she asked 'erm nothing major I had tender boobs a few week back but I just put it to growing because I've gone up a few sizes I'm now a D not a B but they have grown with my body because if it was down to pregnancy it wouldn't happen that quick so the boobs isn't a pregnancy issue yet and apart from not having a period no nothing much' I said 'you do realise you're pregnant don't you' she said to me with pleading eyes 'no I didn't think of it, the sickness and the sore boobs I just put down to stress and the human body' I said 'whilst you've been avoiding me I've been out shopping and here' she said walking off and then coming back and handing me a box 'you want me to do it' I asked 'yeah obviously' she said 'no please' I said 'come in kid' she said shoving it in my hand and shutting the door, I sighed and proceeded to do as I was told. If this stick shows up with two pink lines, my life is over I'll be hated more than I already am. I took a deep breath and looked at the test, two lines were clear as day my heart sunk but I just pulled myself together and sucked up the idea as best I could, I opened the bathroom door and went out, locked the door and got into the car where Anna was waiting 'so' she asked 'you're gunna be a nana' I said and she just looked at me and smirked 'well that's if you want to be nana you can be auntie Anna I just thought with you looking after me etc' I said 'nanny Anna is fine' she beamed and I just smiled at her as she drove to work. The car stopped and we were about to get out 'what we gunna do' Anna asked 'nothing, this is my mess I'll sort it..from what I've just been working in my head I'm only around 8 weeks which means I basically got pregnant the first time having sex with Lawson' I shrugged 'how many weeks you been with him now' she asked '12' I said in disappointment 'don't worry, we'll get by' she smiled getting out the car 'I'll tell people when I'm ready' I said to her and she nodded and we walked in together.
'Morning girls' jimmy said and I did a little salute sign 'everyone got their new scripts' I asked 'I have so has jen,Nicole,Theo,malique,James and chels, Kirsty, ruby and jess are in the meeting now, you, Nikki, jimmy and Anna are up next' nadine told us and I nodded as Kirsty walked in 'sanderson' she said and I looked up because Nikki wasn't here so she must have been me 'your time' she said and I nodded 'I'm gunna tell them' I whispered to Anna who nodded, I walked down the corridor and headed for the conference rooms, I wasn't nervous for our new storylines because I loved my job and I was willing to do anything. 'Ahhhh there she is, how's miss Sanderson today' Brian asked me 'good, you' I said 'brilliant, now we just need to go over your new scripts, talk about changes and whether you'll be happy' he said and I felt nervous I was always so nervous around the bigger bosses especially when I had meetings alone with them 'so for Montana, we were thinking..young, reckless, stupid, disrespectful' he said 'I like' I said 'so she's what 14 coming up 15 this time' he said and I nodded 'and as you know she's recently got in with prince mcqueen..we were thinking of adding a twist to it' he said 'I'm ears' I said which meant I was listening 'pregnant..we want to make Montana miniver pregnant' he said and I gulped and my face probably dropped 'Beth..what do you say' he asked clicking his fingers 'yeah sounds golden' I said 'sweet, I love you Elizabeth Sanderson you make my life easy' he said and I giggled 'any questions' he asked 'when will I film the scenes, how many weeks will I be etc' I asked 'filming starts tomorrow, first scenes will be you finding out, we film 4 weeks ahead each time and you've already been seeing prince for at least 2 months already so by the time these what we film tomorrow air it will be like 3/4 months with prince so we can make her character around 7 weeks' he said and I felt a pang of nausea drift through my body 'everything ok' he asked and Emma passed me some water 'you've gone very white' she said 'can I talk' I asked and Brian nodded 'its early days but I'm pregnant' I said and he looked at me and he wasn't angry he looked happy if anything 'brilliant, we won't need no fake bump or anything' he said and I smirked a bit 'the thing is about maternity leave because that means we'd have to make Montana leave to have the baby so you can have yours' he said 'I don't want a leave, I wanna stay on right up until I give birth on both off screen and on screen obviously maybe a week or 10 days off after my real birth to get over it but other than that I don't want 9 months off I love my job too much' I said and he looked at me crazily 'honestly I wanna stay..maybe giving birth youd have to make Montanas before or after my real due date otherwise it would get weird' I said 'if you're willing to do this then brilliant' he said 'where's the dotted line' I laughed and he high fived me 'early days dont mention my pregnancy' I said and he did a zip on his lips sign and I left the meeting room. I got outside and I had to take myself to the toilets, I felt sick this is so weird, so unreal first this now the show it was like they knew, I looked at myself in the mirror and down to my flat stomach which was soon to be big and bloated how did I end up in this mess, I wasn't ready to be a mum, I've barely just landed on my own two feet, I should have thought about the consequences. I turned around to leave the toilets after pulling myself together and ended up with my head in the toilet, this morning sickness or whatever it was isn't good, I just couldn't stop the sick and the door went and I tried keep myself quiet whilst I threw up again 'hello..who is..are use ok' they asked and that was Steph who played cindy 'it's jess I can help if you need it' they said and I wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet, I patted myself down and stud up ready to face her 'if you aren't gunna answer me im just going to wait out here till you come out' she said and straightened my cap and then I unlocked the door 'beth' she said as I went to rinse my mouth out and put a chewing gum inside 'hi steph' I said 'are you okay' she asked 'I will be' I said 'have you got that dreaded bug' she asked and I just looked right through her 'you're not are you' she said with a slight whisper and I just pulled her into a cubicle and shut the door and then looked her up and down and nodded and she pulled me in for a hug 'does mum know' she asked 'Anna and Brian that's all' I said 'right, I see so it's hush hush' she asked 'well I found out myself about an hour and a half ago so yeah..I finished my meeting with Brit then I needed to be sick so' I shrugged 'secrets safe' she said and I giggled 'montanas new storyline is teen pregnancy..how coincidental' I tutted 'oh well st least you won't have to wear one of those ugly bumps' she said and I laughed 'I'm okay about it all though' I told her 'you are' she said raising a brow 'I mean yeah I'm scared because I'm 17 but it's my own fault I knew the risks' I said 'you're aloud to be scared though' she said 'yeah and I am but it's not the end of the world' I said 'most teenagers would be freaking out right now but you're so calm about having it' she said 'who said I'm calm on the inside, who said I wanted it, a baby was the last thing on my list right now' I said and the toilets door shut and I looked at Steph with shock written all over my face 'don't panic maybe it was the wind' she said nervously 'oh yeah in the middle of july' I said and she just shrugged 'I'm pregnant, you know and that's all I want it at till I tell people unless it gets out before hand because someone else clearly knows too' I said leaving the cubicle and heading out the toilet door 'okay you got my silence' she said as we headed back to the green room.
I'd done a few takes and was just sat chilling in the green room waiting for my night take, I was exhausted already but I was used it to I'd been getting so tired quickly for ages but I just put it down to not eating properly, all that were in here was me, Theo and James but they were both napping and the whole pregnancy thing was playing on my mind, I needed to tell Nikki before I drove myself insane, I took myself off to her dressing room where she should be. I knocked on and let myself in 'hi baby' she smiled and I hugged her 'you ok' she asked 'yeah..look mum there's something you should probably know' I said 'oh god' she said nervously 'now after this I understand if you don't want out to do with me' I said 'I'm your mum any problem won't make me hate you' she said and I let out a big sigh 'ok well then I'm pregnant' I said and she dropped her glass of water and looked at me with big beady eyes 'you're not lying are you' she said and I looked at her blankly 'no why would I lie about that' I said 'sorry..it's just weird to process' she said 'yeah and I'm not asking you to process it straight away or agree with it or anything but you should be one of the first to know' I said heading for the door and she'd still not said out 'like I said you don't have to accept it straight away or anything' I told her and left and headed for the green room again, I felt naughty that I had this little secret inside of me that nobody knew about. I slouched on the chair in the green room, Theo and James still asleep but jess Ellis, Tamara, jazz, jimmy, maxim, Luke, Kirsty and the new Lauren were all in here now 'anyone up for a meal and drinks tomorrow' jazz asked 'me..just do a list and people will write underneath' jess said 'I'll see how I feel' I said 'aw what's wrong' Kirsty asked 'just under the weather' I said 'my baby' she pouted and I just smiled 'what's wrong with ya' jess asked 'just feeling a little drained' I said 'aw you'll be rite' she said 'why you feeling drained' Lauren asked 'haven't slept properly or eaten properly' I said 'aw that's not good why not' she said and I just wanted to face palm 'stressed' I said and I didn't want to talk to her because we didn't really see eye to eye at all, she went to my school in London and we hated each other there too 'stressed about what' she asked 'personal' I said giving her a dirty 'yeah come on what can a 17 year old be so stressed about' Jimmy laughed 'things' I shrugged 'not good enough..' jimmy said and I shrugged 'it's my best friends baby shower tomorrow so I can't go' Lauren said emphasising the word baby whilst looking at me and I face palmed I was so anxious but I was just being stupid 'cool, I love a good baby shower' Kirsty said 'you might get to go to one in the near future' Lauren shrugged 'doubt that' Kirsty said 'anyway beth are you feeling better..weren't you being sick this morning' Lauren said to me and I knew it, it was her in the bathroom I could feel my face heating up 'aw were ya babe' Kirsty asked 'yeah it was nothing' I said 'probably cause you're drained and stressed' jess said and I nodded 'didn't sound like nothing to me in there' Lauren said and I just give her a dagger 'what do you mean' Kirsty asked who looked at me 'don't know' I giggled 'so why you so stressed, why do you keep being sick then..what I heard in those bathrooms wasn't just nothing..it's a big thing' Lauren smirked 'please don't' I whispered over 'don't what' jess asked 'we just wanna know what you're stressed over at such a young age' Lauren pouted 'yeh come on' Kirsty said 'stop Lauren, stop provoking me into saying what's wrong' I said 'why..surely it's not that bad' she smirked and I was tearing up 'you ok' Kirsty asked 'I'm pregnant..there happy now Lauren, now that you've pushed me to tell everyone when I've barely known about it for 5 minutes myself..the reason you heard me talking about it was because I was sick and had to tell Steph who was in the cubicle next door, well I didn't even tell her she just asked me if I was..you didn't need to push me, I'd of told people in my own time' I said walking towards the door 'that's not how we make friends here at hollyoaks' I heard jazz say to her and I just headed for some air.
'You ok' Kirsty asked sitting next to me on the steps 'yeah' I nodded not looking at her 'so pregnant' she said and I just nodded 'why didn't you tell me' she asked 'because I've known myself for less than 6 hours so I was giving myself Tim to process it and then I had to let mum know and brian' I shruggd 'oh so when you said you'd barely known yourself for 5 minutes you weren't joking' she said 'exactly, she's so nasty that lauren' I said 'oh we know, jess and jazz have give her what's what' she told me and I smirked 'I didn't intend for this to happen obviously but it has and I'm keeping the baby' I said looking at her 'then I'll be with you every step of the way' she smiled and I leaned in on her 'mums not spoken to me since I told her but I don't care' I said 'she'll come round, it's a shock..I heard Montana is due to be pregnant' she said 'yeah.coincidence or what' I laughed 'well leela and peri are a big part of that story line too so say hello to your new co worker for the next 9 months' she smiled and it made me super happy 'I'm not going in maternity either' I said 'how's that gunna work' she asked 'basically I'm gunna use my real pregnancy bump and then monty will give birth either before me due date or after, I need to go doctors and get a scan to see how far I am so we can work around my real one then when I've had this baby I'll go off for like 10 days and then come back, when I'm off work I'll have the baby at home but when I'm working I'll bring it' I said 'you're crazy..but you love your job I know' she laughed and I just shrugged and smiled 'so everyone now knows I'm pregnant without me even announcing it properly' I laughed 'they won't say out' she smiled and Anna came out 'hey I heard what happened are you ok' she asked pulling me in quickly 'yeah I'm fine a little annoyed but I'm good' I nodded with a smile 'Nikkis finding it hard' Anna laughed 'still..what's she doing' I asked 'just sat in the dressing room repeating 'I'm gunna be a nana' Anna laughed 'I haven't even told nick' I said 'don't worry about him, he knows we need to talk and his reply was 'daddy's all ears' cringe nick' she laughed 'should we go back in. I don't feel too sick now' I said 'come on' Kirsty said linking with me 'what time do you finish' Kirsty asked 'me 6 or are you on about Beth' Anna asked 'Beth but you can tell me as well' Kirsty winked 'I finish at midnight tonight' I said fist pumping the air with sarcasm 'wow that's a late one for you' Kirsty said 'tell me about it latest I've finished is 10' I said 'I finish at 11 if you want me to drop you back' she offered 'that's a whole hour waiting, it's fine I'll get her' Anna smiled 'by the time I've come off set, sorted myself out and got back to the green room it's gunna be half past maybe later, honestly it's fine orrrrrrrr you can come back to your home with me for the night' she said as if she was begging for a sleepover 'my home is with anna' I told her 'this is also your home too..remember what we spoke about' Anna said wide eyed 'fine only if Nikki wouldn't mind' I said 'of course she wouldn't you're her kid' she said 'infant no I wanna go back to Anna and dads' I said on about nick 'you can always sleep at ours' I said to her 'yeah KLP' Anna laughed 'sleepover it is' Kirsty smiled 'right guys I'm off because I have one more take them I'm going home to drown my sorrows in chocolate and cry over planet earth' Anna laughed and I rolled my eyes 'riiiiiight' Kirsty laughed 'stay good, stay safe and most of all stay you' Anna said kissing my forehead 'I love you' she told me 'I love you' I said and she walked off leaving me and Kirsty to enter the green room 'there you are..are you okay' Nikki said fussing and I got confused 'yeah I'm ok' I laughed 'good, we were worried' she said 'I just went for air I felt sick' I laughed 'sorry about before' she said 'no bother it's a lot to take in' I giggled 'yeah..tell me again..anyways I'm here 100% of the way' she said and I hugged her 'thank you, because I intend on keeping this baby' I smiled 'our little friend has finished for today but expect an apology we told her wisely' jess said and I nodded 'so you're gunna be a mum' Tamara said and I nodded 'who'd a thought eh my little princess, auntie tamtams little egg is all grown up' she smiled and did too 'look kid, don't care about people's opinions all that matters are your own' jimmy said and I nodded in agreement 'this is my life, my fault and I'll deal with it, I don't need negative stuff no ones opinions bother me anyways' I said and they really did 'that's my girl' Nikki said 'mum what time do you finish' I asked 'now' she said 'ohhh I'm here till midnight' I said 'grafter' she said 'grafter is right have you heard this little madam isn't taking any maternity at all apart from a few extra days off when the baby is born to add to her normal days off' Kirsty said 'wow talk about tired my body aches for you now and it's nowhere near time' jazz laughed 'I'm good, I don't need 9 months off, plus being pregnant in real fits right in with my new storyline so it's okay..' I said 'Nikki I'm stopping out tonight' Kirsty told my mum who just nodded 'wait don't you need clothes and stuff' I asked Kirsty 'I have my gym bag in the car with spare underwear in, pjs I'll just nick yours and for spare clothes I'll just pinch one of leelas outfits and bring it back next time' Kirsty said and I just shrugged 'canteen' I asked her 'food..again' she laughed 'I haven't ate in ages' I defended myself 'erm kiss please I'm going and I'm off tomorrow' Nikki said attacking me in hugs and kisses 'I'm off tomorrow too' I said 'tea' she asked 'yeah ok' I nodded 'it's a date, just me and you ash can watch the girls' she said 'are use a thing now' I asked 'half and half' she shrugged and I just sighed 'right I'll see you tomorrow I can't stay long I need to save your nan she has the girls' she told me 'yeah didn't wanna spend time with you anyways' I said rolling my eyes 'tomorrow, 1 on 1 I promise' she said kissing my cheek and dashing off 'food' I asked and Kirsty nodded.