Life of Libby nelson

Chapter 73

 It was May 25th,  Betsi an exactly 5 months old and still tiny she fit into 0-3 still but she was perfect, my little bundle of happiness, she is still such a good baby, she rarely cries only for food and even then it's just a little groan more than anything, she doesn't wake up during the night much anymore she goes down to bed at 7:30 and gets up between 6:30 and 7, most people say I'm lucky but I'm just blessed. Nothing much has happened since her christening, the little mix girls went back home a week after and then we've just been getting on with life watching Betsi grow, I got my tattoo and I love it, I'm sure Jess would too.

'You have work today' anna shouted up and I climbed off my bed and went to the bedroom door 'really' I asked 'yes, 11-3' she said 'awwwwk I thought I was off today, I planned stuff with Ruby' I groaned 'tomorrow you're off' she giggled 'great, right fine I'll come down' I sighed walking back into my room and texting Ruby to tell her I actually had to go to work today rather than tomorrow so she can either come see us at work and do our plans tomorrow or we can reschedule all together. 'Mummy's gotta go work baby doll so B you are coming with' I said lifting her into the car seat, it was pretty warm outside for may, I'd dressed Betsi in some long white socks with a bow on the side of each, little flat sole white dolly shoes and she had some white boomers on but they were covered in lilac small rose buds everywhere, a white top with a frill round the neck like a bib and a lilac cardigan to keep her arms covered and her hair was finished with a lilac bow hand tied clip, she had the longest mop of curly mousy brown hair so I was lucky enough to be able to fit clips in rather than always use head bands. I slipped into some sliders and carried Betsi down the stairs in her car seat 'we gunna walk' anna asked and I looked at her 'if that's what you want' I said 'yeah it's nice' she smiled and I picked Betsi out the seat and slipped her into her pram 'she looks hella So small in her pram still I wish she was a big 5 month old so we could use the bigger part so she can look' I sighed 'soon, when she's a bit stronger with her back we can put her in it just strap her tight, she could probably go in now if we strapped her tight' Anna said and I thought about it 'should we see' I asked and anna got the big part and I put Betsi inside and strapped her and pulled them firmly and she loved it, she was looking at me and smiling to herself 'she looks odd' I sighed 'no she doesn't, it's cause she's small' she giggled 'right' I shrugged 'she will love it outside, we can use this today then go back to her big part' she said and I nodded, I was a bit unsure in case anyone had out to say about it or if they were to tell me she looked silly in it still.

'Are you gunna see nanny...andddd auntie Kirsty annnnd uncle Amal anddddd daddy' I said over emphasising my words and Betsi smiled to every one, I walked in the door after anna held it open 'morning' Kate the receptionist smiled 'morning' I waved 'she's still soooo tiny' she cooed coming out of her seat to see Betsi 'she's 5 months...today actually' I smiled 'you are the cutest' she said making Betsi laugh 'I love this pram' she told me and my face lit up 'really' I asked and she nodded which made me feel better 'if she needs watchhing throughout the day you know where to bring her' she winked and I giggled and walked off to the green room, originally you don't bring your kids to work but since in reality I'm supposed to be on maternity still but wanted to stay they now have a like little play group where if you are stuck for care you can pop them in there which is so cool and easier for a lot of us here. 'Oh my goooooodness look at her' Amy said as she came over 'babe right' I said 'the cutest' she said 'how have you only ever met her once in 5 months' I giggled 'girl we don't work at the same time no more, can I hold' she asked 'of course, here' I said handing Betsi over to Amy. I left her pram to one side and went to make a drink of water 'so where is everyone' I asked 'shooting' she said as there was literally just me and her in here now anna had gone to her dressing room 'who's in' I asked 'Kirsty, Jess, mal, Theo, Chelsea and Michael so far oh and me and you' she smiled and i nodded 'do you need a drink' I asked quickly 'oh no I've got one' she told me her thick Scottish accent rolling off the tongue, I sat on the chair by the window and day dreamed out, I was thinking of how different my life was now compared to about 3 or more years ago, all those years back Id been bullied, been a bitch, tried to commit suicide, lost Janet, lost my brother and bestfriend, lived with Jess we were as happy as anything despite what we'd been through, then I found out the true identity of me, moved in with Nikki, lost Jess, moved in with anna and then had Betsi and honestly I think back and it kills me, all of it kills me, the pain I feel is awful I know me and Janet weren't friends but she provided for me most my life and I'd do anything to have her back, have josh and Siri back but most of all have Jess back...I'd love to still have my two lives, London life and Liverpool life and I'd love for Jess to be able to see how much I've changed and meet Betsi, the only thing I ever wanted in life was to change and make her proud but she'll never see that 'mummy she wants you' Amy said which snapped me out my trance 'huh' I asked looking over 'I'll get her' mal said as he walked in, I noticed anna was here too now 'hello uncle Mals princess' he said kissing her little cheeks and she was instantly smiling 'what's up' Anna asked quietly sitting besides me 'nothing' I said 'there is, you didn't hear Amy shouting you for a whole 2 minutes' she said and I looked away 'I was just thinking of how different life is now, how different everything used to be and how naughty I was, mainly thinking of jess' I shrugged and she pulled me in 'she'd be proud, she's here' she said pointing a finger at my heart and I just shrugged it wasn't the same was it.