Life of Libby nelson

Chapter 26

A full 2 hours sleep I've had,I got felicitie off at about 10:30,I did fall asleep not long after but I was awake again by 1am. I couldn't stop thinking about everything I'm 14 and my heads been battered to little bits I can't take it all in,Carter's coming today as well we aren't very close right now after everything that has happened I have distanced myself from him. I ended up going into the second bedroom and into jesy's room to see her I just needed to see her,only Jordan was in bed so I made my way downstairs to find her sleeping on the couch,at least someone can sleep I thought to myself I bent down and hugged her then made my way back to my room and just layed there until felicitie woke up.

Standing looking at my reflection I got angry,I was ready for the second funeral of the week yet it wasn't just anybody's it was my bestfriends,the person who had cared for me since I moved to London and actually showed me you don't need a bunch of bestfriends to have a good time or to feel love. I looked myself up and down I was wearing leggings but they wherent plain black they where chequered I guess,it was a wear anything funeral but I was keeping it simple,I had my long hair in a doughnut again but on top of my head this time,I sighed it's that time again I guess,it turned on my heel and walked off to grab my purse and phone and felicitie who had been dressed and sleeping in Moses basket for ages,I didn't know what today would bring with the mum situation I'm gunna walk down and she's gunna be conked out on the couch or she's gunna be awake throwing me daggers. I walked in to the living room and no one was there that's good so far I walked in the kitchen to get felicitie a bottle and my mum was sat there reading the paper with a cup of tea by her side,I looked at her with no expression and she just laughed in a horrible tone at me I just rolled my eyes also fighting back tears and grabbed the bottle from the fridge and then her changing bag and walked out my house and into jesy's.

'Wheres jess jords' I asked

'Showering babe' he said giving felicitie a quick kiss and dashing out the door

I walked off towards the bathroom downstairs 'jess' I said to the door no reply,I walked upstairs to the bathroom 'jess' I asked into the other bathroom door 'in here babe' I heard coming from her room. Opening the door she was half ready her hair was dry and she had clothes on 'morning baby' she said kissing both of us 'god mum just laughed horribly to me it was sad to see,what am I going to do' I cried 'it's okay babe don't worry about her just yet,you just focus on today' she said kissing my forehead. I sat on her bed holding felicitie whilst she got ready well sorted her hair out,I was staring into space just thinking of everything that was going on right now 'I'm ready are you darling' Jesy said sitting next to me 'what..to say goodbye to one of my fave people no not really' I sighed leaning my head into her neck 'everything's going to be ok I'm going to protect you and I'm always going to be here' she said rubbing my arms 'jess what am I going to do about mum' I cried 'nothing,you don't have to do out about her,do you have a bedroom here' she asked 'yes' I nodded 'do you have a bedroom at aunty Perries auntys Leigh's and jades' she asked raising a brow 'yes well jades is shared with leonie' I said 'well then you don't have to stay home no more,you can live with me' she smiled and hugged me 'let's go' she said and stud up leaving felicitie on the bed 'jess your forgetting something' I said pointing to the baby and she just stood and stared at her 'you gunna pick her up or what' and she looked at me funny and just walked off, I grabbed the baby and followed her downstairs where she was slipping her heels on 'jess you can't keep pushing her away,it's time to get back to normal,johns gone no going back we give him the best send off we could it's time to go back to reality,perrie had her an extra 4 days and I've looked after her the last two night it isn't fair she needs her mum she will think Perries her mum after so long' I said strapping flossy into her pram 'I'm scared' she admitted 'no don't be' I said and pushed the pram out the door 'wait jess where is felicitie going if mum isn't looking after her' I asked quite confused 'dads' she sighed which made me smile even on a day like today I had a small smile she's finally trusting my dad I just give her a big hug 'what was that for' she asked smiling 'finally taking to dad and letting him spend the day with felicitie' I said and carried on pushing the pram down the street and into my dads door 'dad it's jess' she shouted 'get her out then' I said and she just stood still 'fine jess I will' I said getting the baby out and taking her in and she pushed the pram in after me 'hi rach' I said and she got up and hugged us both 'where's john' jess asked 'here love' he said bringing Layton into the living room and handing him to Rachel 'so what time do you want me to bring the princess back' he asked taking her off of me and Jesy just looked at me 'dad just bring her back for 7 please' I said and he nodded 'stay strong girls' they both said as we left their house,jess grabbed my hand a squeezed it tight as we walked the streets down to the church.

Watching as a slide show of pictures played the church I leaned into Jesy and she held me tighter the song was nothing feels like you off my sisters new album,mine and siris favourite the song and slideshow finished and everyone stood up and left for the wake 'close friends and family at the burial only' the vicar announced which included me and Jesy. Walking towards the patch of land where Siri was being buried I clinged on to Jesy for dear life,my face was probably all patchy from crying to much 'I feel so sick' I cried 'your so strong,not long now baby' she said rubbing my back,we all stood around as her pink and white coffin was lowered 6 feet under,we all chucked roses and Lilly's on top of the coffin 'we are gunna get going see you all at the wake' siris mum said and everyone cleared off I kept hold of Jesy 'stay for 5 more minutes' I said,the men finished covering the freshly made hole with mud and grass and then left 'I can't believe there both gone..for good' i said leaning down by her flowers and Jesy stood hovering over me 'they're here with you still' she said placing a hand on my shoulder I re-arranged her flowers and the few teddy bears that had been left and stood up 'nothing really does feel like you' I sighed and walked off letting Jesy trail behind.

I couldn't stay at the wake any longer,everyone just got drunk and cried and I couldn't handle it no more,it's 8pm and felicitie was still with my dad he said he would just bring her when we arrived home 'what you doing tonight' then Jesy asked as we both went into my bedroom,mum was drinking and ignored us both 'jess would you mind if I stayed' I sighed 'I wouldn't mind at all,stay as long as you like' she said pulling me in for a hug. I packed a bag and headed downstairs to get my new Jordan's from the kitchen,mum looked me up and down and laughed and then looked at Jesy 'your stupid if your sticking up for her' she said 'why' jess asked 'it's her fault your brother isn't here and it's her fault he didn't bond with me or you' she said pouring more wine into her glass 'it's not at all mum sort your head out' she said grabbing my hand and heading out for the door 'if you go out you stay out' she said to me 'if she's out I'm out and if I'm out so is felicitie' Jesy shot back at her 'you decide Elizabeth,if you leave to stay at jesy's don't you come back here your lucky your still staying' she bluntly said 'I'm sick of it mum,I can't handle your crap I'm not a strong person and I've just buried my brother and bestfriend and right now I'm in no fit state to argue,your hurting me more than I'm already hurt,I need you right now but you hate me,I'm going and if I'm out I'm out then I'd rather be with Jesy who treats me like her daughter anyways and actually cares,I'm out there I decided' I said and huffed off towards the front door 'well done you idiot' I heard Jesy say to her 'I don't care it's her fault' she slurred and Jesy followed me,this is going to be a long week and I start back at school tomorrow.