Poetic Justice

Vague memory

Like a soft chime in the middle of a
Noisy room.
Like a delicate whisper in the middle
Of a storm.
I remember the denial of you,
But the more I try to think, the less
I remember.

I remember the tears you caused,
The promises that you left empty,
And the wound that is still healing.

All the hugs I ached for,
All the times I cried,
And the tears I wished you would
Wipe away.
All the stories, I wished you would
Tell me.
All the pride, I wished you had for me.
I remember this as clearly as
Yesterday.

But your eyes,
And your smile,
Is of a forgotten time.
Your words have faded,
You face has left my mind.

You're there, but you're not there.
It frustrates me to the core.
Perhaps you are only a figment of my
Imagination.
How cruel does that make my
Imagination?

Free me of this hope,
This hope that one day you will come
Back.
Free me of this curse, I may have
Created myself.
Free me of this wish.
This wish that drives me insane.

Wherever I go, I see people have what
We never had.
Whenever the time, I am constantly
Reminded that you don't care.
Whatever I think, the fear of love,
Brings me back to you.

The fear of trust,
The fear of promises,
The fear of happiness.

Although you have hurt me so badly,
A part of me, a part that I loathe,
A part of me, a part I wish didn't exist, A desperate, and hollow part of me,
Still cares, dad.

~n.s

(A/n: this poem means so much to me. It's dedicated to my dad who left when I was younger. And this was probably the most emotional one I had to write.
Xoxo
Nikita.)