Poetic Justice

I get it

When I look at you,
And you look back at me with a smile,
It's not because your heart,
Is hammering so loudly in your ears,
That your smile is all that tones it down,
I get it...
It's because you know that it's mine,
Thats doing all of the above,
That it's mine,
That's beating and punching,
Against my chest,
It's not yours.

When you laugh at my jokes,
It's not my jokes that are funny,
It's not that I have a great sense of humour, I get it...
It's my face that's the joke,
My squinting eyes,
And dainty lips.

When you touch my hand,
You don't feel the lightning,
You don't feel the electricity,
Buzzing through your soul,
I get it...
You only want to feel my hand shaking
Out of anguish,
You want to know,
That only your touch,
Brings me weak to the knees and elbows.

I get it,
I mistook it all for you liking me,
For you seeing my heart,
And taking it as it is.
For you taking my darkness,
And adding your stars to it.

I get it,
As clear as the tears cascading down my
Cheeks,
As clear as the window I'm staring out at,
As clear as the way you've been ignoring,
Avoiding me.

I get it now,
You never liked me,
You liked my reaction to you.
And how could I blame you,
When your liking to my reaction,
Was what drove my reaction in the first
Place?

I get it,
And how can I blame you?