Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.13

I ran down the stairs, brushing the tears away with the back of my hand. I was a fool, what had I expected to happen? To be honest, I didn't want a thing from X, but for some odd reason, I had this desire for me to become someone valuable in his life.

To be someone he could care about, maybe I could be that someone who could give his life a little more meaning...but now I wasn't so sure of myself.

I kept thinking to myself over and over in my head how stupid of me it was to come here. There was a reason why I no longer did partake in social gatherings. I just didn't belong.

Reaching the last step, my eyes roaming through the crowds of people. It was beyond true now, I didn't belong here.

So why was I here?

I wrapped my arms around myself, looking at the girls grinding against the guys, guys thrusting into the girls, lust, and the temptation was all that filled their eyes. I shook my head and was about to head for the door when a hand wraps around my arm spinning me around with brute force. I force myself to stop in place to keep myself from falling.

I look up into the eyes of a girl who's pissed off, I wasn't sure yet why she was so angry but I knew in the back of my mind I was about to find out.

"You think your so special you stupid bitch." She hissed.

Another group of girls emerges from behind her, among them was the girl with the short curly hair and olive skin. She'd helped me out earlier in locating X, we made eye contact briefly but she ducked her head and looked away from me.

My attention was once again at the girl who still held her grip on my arm, she steps closer to me now. "X has a girlfriend you slut. Just because she ain't here don't me he fucks with you."

"Eh?" I murmur, confused.

Instead of giving me an answer she slapped me across the face with a force that stung with a shock of heat. I reeled back and cradled my cheek in my hand just as she let go of my elbow and I hit the ground.

I stared at the floor, my long hair shielding my face. The palms of my hands burned with how hard I smacked them onto the floor to break my fall. The girls snickered at me and proceeded to call me names.

I was beyond shocked, a part of me was afraid too.

I'd never fought before, I'd never been slapped too...this was all just so different.

I held my cheek in my hand and looked up at her while she turned away from me. Waving me off and laughing to join her group of friends. "Alright everyone break it up." A male's voice says.

My eyes flicker over to a guy who's approaching me, offering me his hand as if he'd help. I ignored him and instead got to my feet all on my own. I recognized him as one of the guys who was standing at the entrance. He'd been doing a lot of cat calling to the girls that passed by him, guys like him made me want to vomit.

"You okay?" He asks.

I decided it was best to leave for good and turn away from him but he catches my hand. "I'm talking to you." His voice grew louder while his hand gripped mine.

I pull but he doesn't even flinch, I make another attempt to free my hand from his grip but he just laughs at my attempts. "Let's have fun tonight baby." He winks.

He leads the way, forcing me to follow from behind. No one says anything or does anything, they just laugh, shrug it off or continue to dance or text on their phones.

Out of desperation, I use my other hand to try and free myself from his grip. Smacking his hand or turning back to try and step back into the house but it's too late we're already out into the front but he doesn't stop there, he finds a secluded area and throws me against the wall.

I started to feel tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. He didn't seem to notice and instead shields me with his body, I pressed the palm of my hand against my chest trying my best to focus on breathing.

"Breathe." I could hear X's voice in my mind, for some reason, the last time I had a panic attack his voice had soothed me, calmed my nerves and eased my breathing. I tried recalling the way his voice sounded and shut my eyes.

Except that the creep in front of me thinks that this is some sort of invitation and instead plants a kiss against the nape of my skin. I shriek, pushing him away my eyes flashing open. "No," I say breathlessly.

He frowns. "Come on baby, I'll be gentle." He teased.

I shook my head, the bells, I could hear the sound of the bells approaching. My face went pale and suddenly I grew cold. He was here, but it was all in my head. I'd been fucked up since then, imagining him whenever I felt scared.

He had scarred me.

I shoved the guy in front of me away harder now and he fell back a few steps. I used that as my cue to leave and dashed for the front gate that was wide open. I could hear him and a few other's laughing at me.

I didn't look back.

I just wanted to escape.

I tripped on something that was lying around and collapsed onto the floor. My head smacks against the concrete, the force making me feel dizzy and nauseous. I try my best to pick myself up off the ground but only fall back down.

"I'll help you." I heard one of the guys say.

I shook my head, no. I felt his hand grip my arm but I didn't have the energy for me to yank my hand free.

"Get the fuck away from her!"

My heart clenched.

I turned my head, as the guys pulled me off the ground. My eyes spotted X who was running straight this way and in a matter of seconds he's closed the gap but instead of demanding answers he punches the guy who has me in his arms straight in the face. He let's go of me, covering his face as blood gushes down his nose.

X catches me in his arms.

"No." I let out, the group of guys start to hit him, throwing punches and kicking him but X doesn't let go of me and instead shields me in his arms. It doesn't take long for a few other of his friends to reach us and pry them off X.

X pulls me into his arms once we're free, cradling me like a baby while I continue to try and get enough air. I'm gasping now my grip on the back of his neck loosens, my head tilts back. "Flor breathe," X tells me. I watch him look around, helpless. "Fuck." He mutters.

"Fuck! Fuck!Fuck!" He shouts.

My hands graze his skin as they fall from the back of his neck, my eyes roll back and so does my head when the world grows dark.

-tbc-