Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.48

The lights flashed and I blinked momentarily blinded by them as I realized once again I was spacing out. Mr. Hasakawa frustrated shook his head and gave us five since we've been doing what should be an hour shoot in 3. 

Scar came up to me as I took a seat and stared at the ground. "What's wrong?" He asks. 

I don't look at him, for some reason I've come to notice how easily Scar was able to read me, it was like he knew when I was hurting, sad, or just done with about everything. What happened that day at X's old house still had an effect on me.

My curiosity was getting the best of me and I was so unsure of what was real anymore.  "Tell me Flor." Scar says in that cute accent of his. 

I shook my head, "I'm fine just tired." I lie. 

He sighs, kneeling in front of me he takes my hand in his. "You still hung up on that guy." He tells me. "I know your hurting Flor but your too beautiful to trip over some guy who might not be feeling the same." 

"But how do you know?" I say looking up at him. "What if he's waiting for me?" I ask. "What if he's hurting without me?" 

Scar rolls his eyes. "He left you Flor..." 

Whatever argument I had suddenly dissolved. I had no argument to that because a part of me was starting to realize that it was true. That X had left me behind and not only that but he'd taken his ex Vena with him...

Had X really forgotten all about me? 

"Fuck them." Scar says. "Fuck them all." He places one of my hands against his cheek and leans into it. "Why don't you let me show you what love really is?" I lick my lips, nervous. This wasn't the first time Scar had asked me such a thing. 

It's just that my heart longed for another, my heart belonged to someone else. That someone else being X, my first love...the one person who I could love for the rest of my life. "You know I can't." I mumble pulling my hands free. 

It was sick of me. 

Sick of me to continue loving blindly like this but even if X turned into a monster I would love him wholeheartedly. Because that was love, true, pure, raw love. I wanted to prove to him what real love was that I would never betray him.  

And so like a fool I ignored the rumors, lies, for as long as my gut instinct would allow me to. I would continue to wait for him forever if I have to. 

But suddenly Scar is smiling as he says, "Then I'll wait for you."

"Wait for me to what?" 

"To fall in love with me." And then we laugh together, and I feel myself go all happily and bubbly on the inside which is strange. I hadn't laughed out loud in a while that the sound itself was strange to me.   

But it was something that happened more frequently when we were together. "Come on." Scar says, holding his hand out to me. 

I smile taking his hand as he pulls me up from the seat and into his arms I stumble as we pose for another picture. "Smile." He whispers into my ear, caught off guard by his hot breath against my ear I look up at him as my cheeks turn a soft pink. And then I hear the click and flash of a light as Mr. Hasakawa snaps pictures of this embarrassing moment. 

"Your beautiful Flor." Scar whispers pressing his forehead against mine. 

Another click. 

By tomorrow morning this exact picture would have been seen by thousands and it just so happened to be that one of those thousands would be someone close to X. And this picture would be just one of the many things that would place a wall around his heart.

-tbc-